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Cheapo Wino…Thursday! Oyster Bay Pinot Noir

2011 Oyster Bay Pinot Noir $12.99

 

Winemaker’s Notes: Oyster Bay Marlborough Pinot Noir is elegant cool climate pinot noir at its best. Fragrant, soft and flavourful with aromas of ripe cherries and sweet fruit tannins that provide structure and length.

 

Kim’s Notes: I’m going to make this one relatively short. Ana has her first day of preschool tomorrow and, seeing as day drinking is frowned upon, I want to quickly settle down tonight, in my bed, with a martini to celebrate in anticipation. And being that we just got back from “Meet the Teacher” night, I’m inspired to present my review in bad Dr. Seuss style. Enjoy.

 

Oyster Bay

I do not like Oyster Bay

I would not drink it any day

I do not like it

not one little bit

I do not like it

I wanted to spit

Would you drink it in a glass?

I would not drink it in a glass

I would not drink it, it tastes like ass

I do not like this Oyster Bay

I do not like it any way.

Would you drink it in a bar?

Would you drink it in a car?

I would not drink it in a bar

I would not drink it in a car

I would not drink it in a glass

I would not drink it, it tastes like ass

I do not like Oyster Bay

I do not like it any way.

Would you drink it in a park?

Would you drink it after dark?

Not in a park

Not after dark

Not in a car

Not in a bar

I would not drink it in a glass

I would not drink it, it tastes like ass

I do not like Oyster bay

I do not like it any way

Would you, could you

if your day was bad?

I would not, could not

if my day was bad!

Would you, could you

if it’s all you had?

WTF do you mean, if it’s all I had?

I’ll tell you what…

 

I would so, could so

crush your spine

If you did so, done so

drank all my good wine!

 

 

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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! Hacienda Chardonnay 2011

 

Hacienda 2011 Chardonnay -$8.99

TheWineryOnline.com Notes – Bright yellow-gold color. Aromas of butter-cream and hints of freshly cut grass. Mid-palate opens with lots of butter-cream and hint of apple. The oak is well integrated and finish is smooth and silky. Food pairing: Salmon, Fried Chicken, Pasta w/ lemon-garlic sauce.

 

Kim’s Notes – “My Hacienda’s a rockin’, so don’t come a knockin’!”

Let me tell you how Hacienda and I met. It’s a boring story, but one that I can make interesting with a picture of Brian.

So Brian and I went to dinner at this new restaurant down the street. The menu looked great, but our waiter was a bumbling mess- no really, a mess. I swear it was his first night waiting tables…anywhere. No biggie, as long as he put the orders in correctly. And at least he wasn’t cooking.

Then it was time to order dessert, and dessert is serious business for us.

Me: Can we have the flourless chocolate cake but without the raspberry sauce? Can you substitute it with chocolate sauce?

Waiter: So you don’t want chocolate sauce?

Me: No, I don’t want raspberry sauce.

Waiter: Ok, so NO sauce.

Me: No, I want sauce, but can it be chocolate sauce?

Waiter: Ok, no raspberry sauce but you want chocolate sauce?

Me: Yes! (yelled way too excitedly). Or if the chef has ganache, could he use that? Could you ask him?

Waiter: Ganche? Sure. And don’t worry, I’m preparing it myself!

BOOM!

P.S. this was Brian’s honest to god reaction, I had my phone ready.

We ended up with chocolate sauce, not ganache. At least it wasn’t raspberry.

After dinner, we walked over to the wine store because they were having a tasting and tasting things is sorta my “thang”.

Apparently, the chocolate martini and glass of wine from dinner were kicking in because Brian said I pointed out my favorite bottle of wine like 3 times (Louis Martini, Cab. Napa, 2009). Then I asked the owner to select wines for me, specifically for my Cheapo Wino reviews. And as I stared into my wine fridge last night, it seems that Hacienda was one of them.

And that’s how Hacienda and I met.

Can I just tell you how lucky I feel?! It’s like going home with a guy one drunken night and finding out in the morning that he’s the man of your dreams- rarely happens (or so I’m told).

My formal review: I detected a slight twang when it initially touched my palate, but that was followed by a warm, oaky goodness that bitch slapped the encroaching apple flavor away. Mmm mmm. This wine pairs well with chocolate chips, microwave popcorn, and pork – or my favorite, chick flicks and an empty stomach.

Buy me some today!

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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! Alamos Red Blend

Alamos Red Blend 2011 – $11.99


Winemaker’s Notes: Dark berry fruit flavors, integrated with brown spice and vanilla oak characters that form a plush mouthfeel. The Tempranillo and Syrah grapes contribute bold, spicy flavors of blackberry and black pepper which marry well with the juicy dark cherry flavors of Bonarda and the deep plum flavors of the Malbec base. The addition of Cabernet Franc helps to balance the blend, as it melds with notes of warm brown spice to create a long, supple finish.

 

Kim Notes: “Mmmm…it was delicious both before and after the trash picking!”

First, let me address the elephant in the room- Yes, last week I said I was going to step outside of my comfort zone and try some new crazy stuff, something other than Cabernet Sauvignon. Ok, so this is another red wine, but at least it’s not a Cabernet Sauvignon. Baby steps, people, baby steps.

Moving on.

Recently, I read an article in the September 2013 issue of Wine Spectator (yes, I actually have a subscription) entitled “The Great Bottle Test” by James Laube. In it, he says that an indicator of how good a bottle of wine is, regardless of price, is if you’re tempted to drink the whole thing or not. I couldn’t agree more! There have been plenty of wines that I’ve rated as “Meh”, the reason…I didn’t care to drink the whole bottle. Don’t get me wrong, I may have finished the whole bottle but it was more of an effort than a true desire.

Ok, so anyway, the “trash picking” thing is a long story but I’ll only bore you with about two-thirds of it:

Collin was on his skateboard today and he fell off, skinning his knee pretty badly. I washed the wound with clean water… and consequently found out that clean water is the only thing I have in the way of emergency care.

As he was soaking in the tub (I made him sit in a tub full of water, with his clothes on, splashing water on his knee), I searched every cluttered cabinet we had and returned with a bottle of hydrogen peroxide that expired in 2009, some gauze leftover from the dog’s anal gland surgery, and a roll of black duct tape.

The duct tape made me feel resourceful, like a survivalist! The gauze just made me feel ashamed.

After bandaging the wound, I poured myself a glass of Alamos. YUM, YUMITY, YUM! It was full, well balanced,had a slight spice, and although it wasn’t overly oaky, the other flavors more than made up for it.

Then, as I was finishing my glass, I saw this Facebook message on my neighbor’s timeline:

Free stuff at the bottom of our driveway. We have a long board, helmets, knee pads, much more.

Talk about destiny! I grabbed the kids, the flashlights (it was late), and we hopped in the car. You better believe we snapped up those knee pads. I’m not an idiot, the universe wanted us to have them. We also grabbed a sled and some Barbie dolls- the universe is generous.

When we returned, I poured my second glass of wine and guess what? I still liked it! In fact, I had to stop myself from drinking the whole bottle! And that’s how you know it’s good! James Laube said so.

Go out and buy me some today!

 

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Free Advice Friday! How’s your rack?

Dear Kim,

I’ll start off by telling you that I think I might have a mom-crush on you. I just came across your blog and I really appreciate all of your worldly advice.

As for my question: My husband and I seem to be having a bit of trouble with our wine rack that was given to us as a wedding gift a few years ago. I think it is defective but I’ve been unsuccessful with my troubleshooting attempts. The problem is, no matter how many bottles we put in it, it doesn’t seem to hold the wine for more than a few days. I’m really at my wit’s end here, as I’m sure you can imagine. Any advice?

Thanks

Whiny Wino

 

Dear Whiny,

A mom-crush?! I am sooo blushing right now! Of course, it could be my rosacea acting up again, but I’m pretty sure it’s because of you!

Whiny, by “no matter how many bottles we put in it, it doesn’t seem to hold the wine for more than a few days”, I assume you mean you’re drinking it too quickly. Well, testify, sister, testify!!! Luckily, I can help!

At one time, my wine rack looked like this:

…a pathetic cabinet of rotating bottle loneliness.

Side note: The top wine was a gift from my wonderful brother-in-law, Kevin and his lovely wife, Stacy. The bottom wine was brought to book club by Renee. Renee was reassigned to Chips & Dips.

But my current wine rack is quite a display! It’s always filled and ready for the parrr-tay! …or so it would appear.

 

How to keep your wine rack full.

 

Step 1: Purchase your wine and carefully transport it home.

You do have an old car seat dedicated to wine bottle transportation, right?

 

Step 2: Using your Baby Bjorn (make sure the leg holes are sewn shut), carefully carry the bottles into the house, gently kiss each bottle, then choose which one you’ll sacrifice first. I like to sing “I’m a Little Wine Bottle” during this process:

It’s a very spiritual scene.

Step 3: Drink it.

 

Step 4: Refill your now empty wine bottle with cranberry juice or water & food coloring.

 

Step 5: Replace the cork as deeply as you can and cut off the remaining cork. Trust me, those corks are a bitch to get it back in.

 

Step 6: Color the top of the cork with a Sharpie. I recommend buying them in a variety of colors so you can match the original foil color.

 

Step 7: Gently slide the bottle back into your wine rack! TADA! A full wine rack through the art of winodermy!

Winodermy- You know how you had your taxidermist stuff your beloved, deceased dog, then sat him next to the kitchen table so it feels like he’s still alive and begging every time you eat your pizza (because pizza was his favorite)? Well, it’s a lot like that but with wine.

 

Whiny, I hope I was able to help you!

But if you meant that your wine rack was actually broken…throw that shit out! You wouldn’t let your child sleep in a recalled crib, so why on earth would you take chances with your wine?

 

Your friend in wine,

Kim

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