پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday

February 20, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

2010 Horse Heaven HillsH3 Les Chevaux Red Wine – $10.99

(Blend – 80% Merlot 13% Cabernet Sauvignon 7% Syrah)

Wine Maker’s Notes:  “Aromas of fresh blueberries, anise and earth lead to firm and supple tannins on the palate. This red wine blend presents incredible depth, with layered flavors of candied nuts, licorice and dark chocolate that lead to a mocha finish featuring ample, sweet tannins.”

Wine Spectator’s Notes: “Supple and spicy, with a plush-textured, dark-hued, blackberry-rich mouthful lingering against creamy oak notes on the long and polished finish. Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah. Drink now through 2017.” (90 points)

Kim’s Notes: “I’m so confused”

Ok, so you know how you go to your grandmother’s house on Thanksgiving and you can’t wait to eat the mashed potatoes because you just LOVE mashed potatoes.  The bowl gets passed around, you scoop a huge ass portion onto your plate and dig in.  Mmm, it’s fluffy, smooth, and rich…but wait…what the hell is that taste? WTF is it? Grandma?!

Oh yeah, she forgot to mention that she added radishes to them this year.  I did not expect that.  I hate radishes.  Thanks a lot.  But then you shrug and eat it anyway because you LOVE mashed potatoes.  Well, that’s exactly like this wine.

So I poured a nice big glass (it smelled nice and oaky), took a big gulp (a full, round feel in the mouth), then I felt Pop Rocks going off in the back of my throat.  Ok, not Pop Rocks but it was this huge peppery-ness (is that even a descriptor?).  It was kinda weird because the smell, feel, and initial flavor was very pleasant, it was just a few seconds of pepper after every gulp.  I winced a little every time but, needless to say, I kept drinking it.

Would I buy it again?…Meh, probably not.  Would I drink it if you served it at the next book club? Of course I would, duh.

*I decided that, like wine spectator, I needed a rating scale.  And since a wine bottle holds 4 glasses (so I’ve been told…all mine hold far less), I’m going to rate a wine based on how many glasses I would drink before switching to something else.

MY RATING

Drum roll, please…..

I give this wine 2 WINE GLASSES

But if you love pepper, this is the cheapo wino for you!

4 Comments Filed Under: cheapo wino review Tagged With: , , , ,

Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday

February 6, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

Remember on Monday, when I told you that my “7 things about me” would continue on Wednesday?  Well, I forgot that today is cheap wine review day.  Sorry to those that were hoping to read a story about my menstrual cramps or something just as insightful.

Today’s wine selection was brought to you by my local liquor store owner, Rocco.

The review:

Oracle Shiraz 2011  South Africa Coastal Region $9.99

Wine Makers Notes:  “This ruby-colored red shows delightful aromas of red berries and spice that emerge on the palate with a touch of oak.  A dollop of spice and all things nice.”

toutonselection.com Notes :”The Oracle Shiraz is a brilliant ruby-colored wine. It’s an expressive Shiraz with delightful aromas of red berries and an oriental spice that emerges on the palate with a melding of oak.”

Kim’s Notes:  “WTF, Rocco?”

Seriously.  After acknowledging its beautiful ruby color, I leaned in to take a whiff and holy hell!  I swear I could smell the feet that were used to stomp the grapes.

Rocco, you and your little yellow signs are dead to me.

pic from www.sqlj.org

Ok, now the taste…this is where it gets confusing for me.  Once you put the smell aside, the taste itself wasn’t that bad.  Overall, it was smooth, light, and low in acidity.  But damn, every time my nose went in the glass….Just. Damn.

I imagine it would pair well with other stinky shit, like swiss cheese and cabbage.

While this wine isn’t for everyone, I think it would be most appreciated by mouth breathers and allergy sufferers.  It’s also the perfect wine to take to your next Bingo night, grandma’s 90th birthday, an AARP meeting, or really anywhere with old people as their smell is the first thing to go.

CHEERS!

If you’ve had a great wine under $15, please leave it in the comments so that I can create a large Mommy’s Wine Resource Page.

 

6 Comments Filed Under: cheapo wino review Tagged With: , , ,

Tips for Tuesday! One classy Motha’s gift ideas!

December 18, 2012 Written by One Classy Motha

Friday’s tragic events have left me feeling a little bit unfunny and tremendously sad. Needless to say, I’m having trouble getting my humor on. But shopping always perks me up, so for today’s post I thought that I would do a crappy version of “Oprah’s Favorite Things”.

Here’s a list of some great gift ideas (according to me) which Oprah would never endorse, purchase, or use.

Vino2Go – For the person who has everything except a wine glass that doesn’t spill when they’re drunk. This is available through The Product Farm…but damn it, I went to order it and it’s sold out! Son of a bitch!!! I thought I’d tell you about it anyway so you can place your order for Valentine’s day. Though I’m sure some asshole is selling it on ebay right now for $99 if you want to head over there, place your bid, and come back. I’ll wait.

Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat by Jen of the blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat.

Do you want to read a heartwarming book that fills your soul with all sorts of holiday fuzzies? Well, I can’t help you there. But if you want a great laugh with that “I’m going to hell” feeling then head over to amazon.com and buy this book! It’s also available on kindle.

Beardhead.com I love these hats!!! But not a damn person in my family will wear one, not even to make me a little bit happy. So can you buy one, take a pic of someone in your family wearing it, and send it to me? It’ll give me a laugh AND I’ll show it to my family as a way to say “why can’t you be more like them”.

The company makes several styles. They even make baby ones! LOVE!

Birdcage Umbrella – I cannot wait to get this! Do you know how many times I’ve walked into a pole while holding an umbrella (and without)? Lots. With this umbrella, I’ll not only be able to see where I’m going but I’ll also stay dry from that damn slanted rain. AND this is the umbrella made for the Queen of England. That’s classy enough for me. check it out here. P.S. They make them for kids too!

Wine Rack – Simply brilliant! This is a sports bra that has a bladder insider where you can keep your favorite beverage. The hose allows you to pour drinks or sip directly from it! And good news…they’re on sale right now! This would make a great gift for your flat chested BFF! Going up a boob size has never tasted so good! Get one here.

*I do need to point out that it looks like she had a boob job and the tube is a bloody drainage tube. Did I just kill the sale?

Pull My Finger Santa – Would it surprise you to know that we’ve had a PMF Santa for years? While other famlies kick off their Christmas with the lighting of the tree, ours begins with the pulling of the finger. FAAARRT “Ho Ho Ho, Now that’s a stocking stuffer!” It’s a cherished family tradition. You can start your own PMF Santa tradition buy purchasing one here.

XL Wine Glass – OMG! This wine glass holds a WHOLE BOTTLE OF WINE! A whole bottle! Do you know what this means? I can say “I only had one glass of wine last night” with a straight face. I have no more words. Get it here!

Squeezable Boob Creamer – C’mon, tell me you didn’t just spit out your coffee when you saw this! This would make a great gift for…um…um…someone in your mommy’s play group? The company suggests you buy two of them for a more realistic look. Get ’em here.

Time to pitch my own stuff…

Beaver Babies: A vagucational tool – Why explain the miracle of birth when you can simply toss this reversible vagina to your kids and walk away? Let Beaver Babies unravel the mystery for them.

Here’s what people are saying about Beaver Babies…

“Brilliant….but disturbing” Jamie Salvatori, owner of www.vat19.com

“That’s what happens when you cross my creativity with your father’s sick sense of humor” Linda, my mother

“What the hell have you done?!” Brian, my exasperated husband

“Where’s the other slipper?” Ana, age 3

This also makes a great gift for the mother-to-be. Each Beaver Baby can be either a girl or boy, and customized to match your skin tone and hair color (including pubic). Read more about Beaver Babies and enter a giveawayhere.

To place an order or to receive a free crappy tutorial, contact me at kim@oneclassymotha.com.

To Bliss and Back (Life Well Blogged) by Abbey Fatica & Monica Merrill-Mylet

I AM IN THIS BOOK! Isn’t that reason enough to rush out and buy it? no? ok, bitch. Then how about this:

To Bliss And Back explores the hilarity that we all experience when confronted with the ups and downs of relationships and marriage. Join the thousands of readers that enjoy these stories posted by the titans of the blogging industry on a daily basis. What could be better than a personal time-out to read and wrap yourself in laughter this season?

Buy one for you, your mother, your BFF, and the lady that waxes your hooha. You can read more about the book and purchase it here. Or do you want to win one?!!!!

GIVEAWAY – I’ll be giving away an ebook to a lucky lucky reader! All you have to do is leave a comment and you’ll be entered into a random drawing! The drawing will take place on Thursday, because I really don’t have any plans that day.

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In the meantime, if you find any “OMG! I sooo need to get this for someone”, leave a comment below with a link to the site so I can buy it or pimp it out on my pinterest board.

Now go out there and make me proud by buying some crazy shit!

;

6 Comments Filed Under: Tips, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,

Free Advice Friday – Wine & Whine

October 12, 2012 Written by One Classy Motha

Dear Kim,

I’m writing to you because I know that you are a wine lover. My husband and I are having a very special couple over for dinner next week. They said they like Cabernet (like you), but since we don’t drink wine we weren’t sure if we should serve a Cabernet from the Sonoma or Napa region. What do you think?

Penny in Foryourthoughts, ND

Dear Penny,

Let me answer your question with a little story.

When I was 14, I went to my local pet shop to purchase 2 mice. The shop owner, who reeked of Bourbon and Tab, insisted on picking them out for me. He stared at their bits for several minutes and proclaimed them both boys, so I named them Sparky and Morris. Over the next few weeks Morris got fatter and meaner. It wasn’t until we saw Morris bitch slap Sparky and shriek “Don’t touch me, you asshole!” that my mother recognized the symptoms of pregnancy.

I’m embarrassed to say this, but I returned Morris (renamed Judy) to the pet shop like some wayward teen from the 1950’s. I thought for certain Sparky would become despondent and depressed, but instead he seemed relieved that I had dealt with his “little problem”. I could actually see the stress leave his tiny rodent shoulders. Silly mouse.

Penny, I think you know where I’m going with this…get your guests drunk enough and, like the pet shop owner with mouse genitalia, they won’t know the difference.

And stay away from French wines, you won’t know how to pronounce them and you’ll just look stupid.

Your welcome,

Kim

Dear Kim,

Like you, I’ve been a stay at home mom for 9 years now. My question is- how do I keep from losing myself, the person I was before I had children?

Margaret in Kidtopia, KS

Dear Margaret,

Oh Margaret, Margaret, foolish Margaret- you can’t. I’m so lost that I had a vanity plate made for my minivan that reads “WEAR M I”.

Back in the 90’s I did a stint as a Life coach at S.O.S. Counseling (Stop Officially Sucking). I was a young, single professional that had a naive view of life. The Motto on my business cards read “There’s Always a Way”. Years, marriage, and two children later, I realize my business cards should have said “There’s Always Xanax and Tequila Chasers”.

Somehow my life had changed…

My “excuse me, I have to use the restroom” became “I gotta go potty”. My “Screw you!” became “That wasn’t a good choice”. My purse became a suitcase without wheels, holding everything from tampons to harmonicas (in my purse now. i swear). And my boobs went from perky to a place capable of holding promotional pharmaceutical pens and washable markers.

Here’s my advice Margaret, embrace it. Embrace it and cry until the tears dry up.

If you’re really desperate, you could try taking an invigorating pole dancing class. It will give you those familiar inner thigh bruises and knee burns reminiscent of your wild college days. But when you get home you’ll still have to throw your stilettos in the closet and clean up the baby shit. Is it really worth your Better Homes & Garden reading time?

There’s always retirement,

Kim

2 Comments Filed Under: Free Advice Friday, Uncategorized Tagged With: ,
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