As you know, on Monday I decided that I was going to start doing wine reviews on inexpensive wines. You just wet your pants, didn’t you?

This might be a little TMI, but I’ve always experienced a tingling rush of excitement when stumbling across a bargain, it’s almost sexual-like.  No lie. In fact, Collin was conceived after a winning bid on Ebay, and Ana after I bought a Michael Kors dress for only $39.99. Only thirty-nine ninety-nine people!

On the other hand, while I do enjoy saving a buck, Brian and I also love going to the best restaurants in town, ordering anything & everything on the menu, then coming home and shitting it all out. Wasteful?  Maybe, but life is all about balance.  Balance and great food.

But these reviews are about more than just me and my bargain-erotica (bargotica?).  It’s about you!  It’s my belief that mothers everywhere deserve access to affordable yet delicious mental health care, and I’m determined to make that happen.  I still don’t understand why insurance doesn’t cover a pitcher of margaritas, I mean, it’s got to be cheaper than therapy, right?

Now before I officially begin my review, let’s define my idea of a “bargain” wine. Before I was married, I was quite content with drinking a $5.00 bottle. It provided both the essence of grape and the warming sensation of grainy alcohol that I required.

But over the years, Brian has spoiled me by frequently supplying the good stuff…the-we-can’t-afford-this-every-night- good stuff.  As a result, my “el cheapo” price range has continued to rise. So for the purpose of this and future reviews, let’s set the maximum dollar amount to $15.

Now for my first review…

Wait!

Back up a sec. Let me quickly warn you that I have no clue what the hell I’m talking about. I mean, I know what I like but I’m not sure what all the fancy terminology means. So I’ll be using my own personal descriptors and preferences. Good luck with the deciphering.

Horse Haven Hills (H3) Cabernet Sauvignon 2010 by Columbia Crest

from Washington State – $11.99

First, let’s start with the winemaker’s notes…

Winemaker Notes: “This bold medium-bodied wine delivers aromas of cherry blossoms and rose petals, with a perfect balance of earth, mineral and deep berry flavors leading to a soft tannin cocoa finish.”

Next, Wine Spectator…

Wine Spectator’s Notes: “Polished and distinctive, offering chocolate and espresso accents around a supple core of cherry and fresh currant fruit. The finish is well-defined, with a silky feel. Drink now through 2019.”    rating = 90 Points

Now my notes…

Kim’s Notes: “This shit is pretty good!”

No really!  Wine Spectator gave it a 90 point rating, which is amazing for a wine that costs only $11.99.  Originally, Brian purchased this bottle for me so I didn’t know the price. After drinking it, and factoring in what Brian would spend, I guessed the value at $24.99.

My description…

It’s a nice deep, dark red…almost like the color of freshly clotted blood. I know, Mmm.  The first time I opened the bottle (I drank 3 bottles this week to prepare for this review) I was immediately struck by a nice oaky smell, and I love me some oak (though, not a fan of oak furniture). And unlike a lot of “value” wines, this wine was smooth, it didn’t have that jagged glass feeling that I’ve come to expect in anything under $12. While it wasn’t totally chewy (I love chewy), it had a nice weight & feel to it, like a velvet blanket that’s been stuffed in your mouth to keep from screaming. Am I making sense? Because honestly, I’m just making these adjectives up as I drink.

This wine is ready to drink now through whenever (all my wines are either “drink now” or “drink tomorrow”). It’s the perfect choice for mommy playdates, your next book club, or for guzzling while discussing this month’s electric bill with your spouse.

This wine pairs well with pizza bites, Hot Pockets, tacos, or handfuls of chocolate chips eaten directly from the bag while crying.

Go out and buy it today! (Columbia Crest, feel free to send me a case)

*If you want to read more cheap wine reviews, check out my friend Running Mama !

I need your help!

As a public service, I’m going to set up a “Cheap But Good” wine resource page.  I would really love your suggestions.  Please leave a comment with your favorite bargain wine so that I can include it on my list.  You’ll be helping mothers everywhere!  Sorry, but not every good deed is a tax write off.