پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

The Weekend in Crappy Pics

On Friday, I began phase 1,272 of my basement re-do project, Painting.

Having purchased the best paint on the market (Benjamin Moore), I thought for sure I’d be putting my feet up and enjoying a yummy cocktail in no time. However, after 1 wall, 3 hours, and 5 coats of Mascarpone White later:

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If you recall Collin’s Birthday party, where I encouraged the kids to write all over the walls because “I’m painting anyway” (and clearly crazy), then you know that I have no one to blame but myself.

wcp25No, of course not. It’s probably my fault.

 

A heavy-duty primer is now on my shopping list.

 

On Saturday, I took Ana to TWO  back-to-back birthday parties. What’s that? Didn’t I take her to one last weekend? Why yes, yes I did. And don’t we have another one this weekend? Why yes, yes we do.

The first birthday was a 2 pm bowling party.

preschoolbowling

 

 

Then we headed to a 3:30 pm Dance Club birthday party, complete with pounding music, black lights, and an open bar. Just kidding about the open bar. Wish I wasn’t.

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While eating my third slice of birthday cake this week, I did a little math:

25 classmates + birthdays= 25 birthday parties.

Homeschooling never looked so appealing.

 

On Sunday, I spent 6 hours painting the rest of the basement…almost. I sorta ran out of paint and patience.

wcp881

Oh, and I’ve decided to continue my DIY wainscoting up the basement stairs because ending this project without a full mental breakdown is not an option. So you can look forward to that.

How was your weekend?

Weekend in Crappy Pics

weekendincrappypics

 

I pretty much dragged ass this whole weekend. Sorry but it’s true.

[ INSERT MENTAL PICTURE OF SLOTH HERE] *too lazy to find a non-copyrighted picture

I even thought about skipping my Weekend in Crappy Pics post today but I know you’re all just chomping at the bit to read about our last 48 hours…well, except for Carol R. from Cincinnati, who’s asked me at least 3 or 4 times to remove her from my email list. But you know what I said to Carol? “Carol, Winners never quit me and quitters never win! And you’re a winner, Carol! YOU’RE A WINNER!”

I’m now SPAM to her.

Anyway, I’m pretty sure that Thursday night is to “blame for my lame”. <— I just made that up. I’ll trademark it later.

Thursday night, I took Brian on a surprise date. It wasn’t a surprise date like “Surprise! We’re on a date.” because date nights require more planning than that, it was more like “Surprise! Can you guess why I brought you to this dive?”

He was looking for clues everywhere.

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he was like:

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and I was like:

wcp721

I don’t want to hold you in suspense any longer…we were there to see a very popular comedian in our area, who’s frequently a guest on Brian’s favorite sports radio station. The guy did a bunch of sports humor and sports impressions and sports and sports, and other sports stuff, but it was a BYOB venue so I had a good time.

Afterwards, Brian was all giddy and in good spirits and in no hurry to get home so he suggested that we stop at the pub next door. I had a chocolate martini…then another…then I got all rambly with people about how I used to do custom handbags but had to stop because of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

On our way out, the bartender handed me these:

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Latex gloves. Umm, what?

Turns out, he thought I said I used to do custom handjobs until I developed Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.

Strangely, I wasn’t as bothered by the “handjobs” misunderstanding as I was baffled by the “custom” part. Is that even a thing? Who’s got time for that??? Anyway, I guess he wanted me to be “careful out there” so that was nice…I think.

When we arrived home, I clumsily paid the babysitter from an enveloped marked “ANA’S BIRTHDAY MONEY” and still came up $5 short.

I handed her the $45 and said, “Ana either needs to get a job or have more birthdays!” Then I laughed and laughed and…worst mom ever.

On Friday, “somebody shoot me” could be heard in the early hours of noon.

And that’s why I didn’t write a Free Advice Friday (for those keeping track at home). My advice would have been something along the lines of “Don’t drink . Ever.” and “Pay the babysitter a little something extra to buy her discretion.” Actually, the latter isn’t a bad idea.

How was your weekend? Tell me you were worthless too, please.

Weekend in Crappy Pics!

 

One word: SNUGGLES

Friday afternoon, Ana’s classroom bear, Snuggles, came home with her.

Apparently, it was our responsibility to show Snuggles a good time AND to return him in one piece on Monday morning. I had my concerns…

I was beyond stressed. Honestly, I’d rather her bring home a newborn baby as they seem to leave a bad taste in Bo’s mouth.
 
Friday night, we took Snuggles to a dive restaurant that I was dying to try because “You shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, Brian.”

But when the waitress escorted us to a room reeking of bleach and registering a frosty 50 degrees, I thought to myself, “Oh shit, this ain’t no Pulitzer Prize.”

Luckily, our meal had some “Huh, this isn’t bad.” along with a few “Try these, they’re kinda good.” moments.

On Saturday, Collin went to a 6 hour birthday party. Yes, 6 hours. And the rest of us did nothing, nada, zip, zilch, except sit around and snuggle with Snuggles.

On Saturday night, we invited Brian’s mom over for dinner (pizza). After dinner, we were sitting around the family room, enjoying a roaring fire, drinking some wine, and someone pointed out this game…

It had to be Brian’s mom because it’s been sitting there since Christmas 2012 and we’ve yet to acknowledge its existence. Even Mr. Bojangles walks around it.

So we played the game,

then put it back in the corner until next year.

On Sunday, it was 10 degrees with the wind chill. TEN DEGREES, PEOPLE! And Ana informed me that we had to take Snuggles to Smith Park because her teacher said that’s his favorite thing to do. Well, I explained to Ana that, as a bear, Snuggles was meant to eat and hibernate this time of year, and that maybe her teacher is trying to push her own agenda onto Snuggles.

“Shouldn’t we honor Snuggles’ natural instincts by eating leftover pizza and napping instead?”

“No.”

So I did what any good mother would do…I took her and that damn bear to the park. I also did what any selfish mother would do…I underdressed her so she’d freeze within minutes of arriving.

“Mommy, I can’t feel my hands. Can we go home now?”

Yes, it’s hard to hold the monkey bars when your fingers won’t bend. Mwahahahahaha!

Oh, and check out the static electricity generated by a cold, dry, plastic slide…

I still think Snuggles would have rather hibernated.

How was your weekend?

Weekend in Crappy Pics!

 

All last week, I worked my ass off around the house…then developed bronchitis.  I think it was my body’s way of saying, “Whoa! Slow down there, Kim. Clean houses are overrated.” So I pretty much sat around all weekend eating nachos and lighting fires in the fireplace.

At some point on Saturday, I peeled myself off the couch to find out why everyone was so quiet. Standing up and looking around, I noticed a theme- Death and Destruction….

The naked, tied-up Barbie concerned me the most. But not enough.

“Carry on.”

On Saturday night, we decided to cook some hot dogs on the grill.  That was an unfortunate idea…

Turns out there was a mouse nest under the burner…which Brian lit before realizing it:(

Unfortunately (or fortunately) for you, I forgot to take a picture of the nest because I was so distraught with guilt and sadness- I thought for sure we roasted a whole rodent family. But guess what? There were no bodies. On a hunch, I told Brian to open the grill’s cabinet doors. He did, and there they were, two adorable mice! They reminded me of my own childhood pet mice, minus the Salmonella & Typhoid fever.

They ran around for a bit while I named them, then they hopped through the back of the cabinet and scampered off into the cold, dark, starry night- her riding on the back of a squirrel as they followed the North Star in search of a manger in which to birth their little Mouse Savior. That’s right, I’ve already written and cast a movie about their life based on the 1965 film “The Greatest Story Ever Told”.  It’s called “The Mouse-siah”, and it stars Stuart Little as Cheesus Christ.

 

On Sunday, I hired two college kids to clean up the leaves in our yard while Brian & Collin watched football, Ana tested & perfected 32 different restraining knots, and I continued to stare at the fireplace and stuff my face.

 

Then on Sunday night, while feeling like a fat sloth, I received this text…

I said to myself, “Hmm…I don’t know an Emma. I should probably click on this and find out what it is.”

So I did…

WTF, Universe?

So then I replied…

 

Oh, and apparently a wind storm came through while we slept last night…blowing leaves into our yard.

Only our yard. But we didn’t get hit by any tornados, like most of the country, so I should probably shut the hell up.

 

How was your weekend?

 

Is your Holiday shopping done? Mine either. Check out my sponsor GiftsForYouNow.com, they have a bazillion gifts that you can personalize for that special person, or for that person that isn’t special but you want them to think they are. 

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