If you follow me on twitter you might have noticed that my tweets this week have lost a bit of their quirky humor and have instead, been replaced by tweets laced with anger and irritation. Take my exchange with Tampax for example (Yes! THE Tampax!…I was a little star struck!

One classy Motha ‏@MothaKim

The whole family is PMS-ing today. Makes me want to put a tampon in their mouths and watch it expand. A @Tampax tampon. (call me,Tampax)

Tampax‏@Tampax

@MothaKim Sounds like a job for our Multipax! #TampItToTheMax

One classy Motha ‏@MothaKim

.@Tampax Yes! Different sizes for Different mouths because not everbody has the same flow of bullshit. #TampitToTheMax

Tampax‏@Tampax

@MothaKim hahaha! You’re definitely on to something here!

 

See what I mean?

But there’s a perfectly good explanation for all of this bitchiness…ready…… I’m on a low carb / no sugar diet (gasp!).

Sadly, it turns out that sugar is what keeps me stable, keeps me sweet, and unfortunately, keeps me regaining those damn 10 pounds.

Anyway, I’ve been really missing the chocolate martinis I had almost every night in December. Some nights (I’m only on Day 5) my desire for one was so bad that I would fall to my knees and sing sorrowfully like Barbra Streisand in Yentl , “Martini, can you hear me?”

If you’re not familiar with it, watch the video and replace “Papa” with “Martini” then you’ll truly understand my angst.

*skip ahead to 36 sec if you’re impatient.

[embedit snippet=”yentl-2″]

In the middle of one of my little breakdowns, I remembered that Brian had purchased (at my request) a huge box of Muscle Milk from Costco. This shit is no joke! It has 20 grams of protein and something like 6 carbs. And guess what….it was chocolate flavored.

Are you thinking what I’m thinking? “Oh no she didn’t!” YES. I. DID.

TODAY’S TIP

Chocolate Muscle Milk Martini

What you’ll need:

Muscle milk, vodka, shaker, glass

Directions:

Mix Chocolate Muscle Milk with copious amounts of vodka (I chose Glazed Donut flavor, yum!).

* I know what you’re thinking here, ‘is vodka low carb or low sugar?’. I have no clue.

I chose to garnish with a brussel sprout to represent its health benefits.

Review

While it was surprisingly somewhat tasty, it wasn’t a chocolate martini. But seriously, did you really think it would be? Now, I did notice an aftertaste that lingered in my mouth for hours (maybe days) regardless of how many times I brushed my teeth, but I think that’s indicative of protein drinks in general. If you like these types of shakes, which I sorta do, it was better than not having a martini. In fact, if you think about it, Muscle Milk is a meal replacement so this could technically be considered dinner and drinks. Now that’s multi-taking!

Give it a try and let me know what you think. Or better yet, come up with another drink and send me the recipe! Thanks in advance!