pizza

March 3, 2014 Written by One Classy Motha

It’s Sunday night and another snow storm is headed our way.

10-14 inches are expected…again

Schools have been cancelled…again

We’ll have to shovel…again

And to top it off, I just finished my last bottle of affordable red wine, which means that the only thing standing between me and an $80 bottle from the Napa region is my flimsy self control and a misplaced corkscrew.

Hey, did you know if you cry long enough, you can get dehydrated and start vomiting?
Enough about my mental breakdown…

On Friday, Collin and his friends had a “going-away” party at our house for one of the neighborhood kids.

I was about to order from Papa John’s when one kid said she refuses to eat their pizza because she doesn’t agree with the owner’s economic policies. “But they deliver. And I love their Tuscan 6-cheese pizza.” I whined.

Dammit, people. I’m all about teaching our children to stand up against social injustices and making the world a better place through conscience choices, etc. etc….until it interferes with my pizza.

“Hello. Yes, I’d like to order a large pizza, half pepperoni and half kumbaya.”

After scarfing down pizza from a restaurant that provides a 401k and dental insurance for its employees, the kids presented the card that they lovingly made to their friend. Here’s a snippet…

“…I was like WOW that person is boring”

Oh bejesus, I love their painful honesty!

On Saturday, I finished painting the basement…including the dreaded stairwell. My initial idea was to have the tall white wainscoting run down both sides of the staircase, but then I ran out of wood so screw that. My next idea was to have the wainscoting run down just one side and to keep the other wall all white, but then my charcoal paint roller hit the ceiling so screw that…

It was like I lost my charcoal mind! I just kept laughing and painting and saying things like “MAKE ALL THE THINGS BLACK!” and “YEAH, I LIKEY!”

Needless to say, Brian was a bit concerned with my design choice and mental state, “It’s a little dark and cave-like, don’t you think?” Like my winter heart, Brian, like. my. winter. heart.

On Sunday, Collin and Ana had a tug-of-war over a book…until Collin’s elbow accidentally made contact with Ana’s eye. If I had to guess, I’d say that’s when she let go.

I asked them what book was so damn special that they had to wrestle for it. The Great Gatsby? War and Peace?

“The fart book.”

ahh, but of course.

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How was your weekend? If you live someplace warm and sunshiny, please tell me all about it. I’ll read your comment while pressing my face against a 100 watt light bulb until I feel a little bit alive.

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Tip for Tuesday- Always try it before you buy it.

February 19, 2013 Written by One Classy Motha

I’m a firm believer of the old adage “try it before you buy it”, and I don’t care what it is. Ice cream shop, ask for a spoon. A wine bar, ask for a sip. A book store, read a chapter while sitting in their bathroom stall. A restaurant,…well, you can’t really ask the chef to prepare a bite for you (that would be weird), but what you can do is look around the restaurant for someone eating what you’re thinking of ordering, and ask for a taste. However, DO NOT take more than 1 square inch of food, because that’s rude.

Yesterday, I decided to head out to research some of our upcoming household purchases. We’re currently in need of a stainless steel refrigerator, some outdoor furniture, and a new toilet for the upstairs bathroom. By the way, Brian won’t agree with any of this.

*Brian’s motto: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. And if it is broke, learn to live without it.

So I bribed Ana with the promise of purchasing a “cooperation” toy, and we drove out toward Lowes. On our way there, I ordered a pizza for delivery.

Pizza Guy: Your address?

Me: Lowes, the Outdoor Living department. Second table on your left.

That’s right, I ordered a pizza. Why, you ask? Well, we love to spend our summer evenings eating outdoors and I rarely cook and TRY IT BEFORE YOU BUY IT.

Ana and I both loved the look and feel of the tiles, however, I found that the uneven surface made my wine glass wobble a little bit, making me extremely uncomfortable. Granted, the customers gawking at us didn’t help. I bet this is how celebrities feel when they’re eating out.

After lunch we walked over to the appliance section to see if the leftover pizza and wine would fit in the stainless steel refrigerator that I had my eye on.