Dear Kim,
Sometimes I get really disappointed about where I am in my life right now. When I was younger I thought I’d have this great career, a house with a picket fence, and a nanny to take care of my 2.5 kids. Instead, I’m wearing sweat pants everyday and wiping asses while staring at my home’s 20 year old original appliances.
I love my family and the ability to stay home, but sometimes I have trouble appreciating it. Help me see things differently.
Living the unglamourous life,
Debbie in Downerville, ND
Dear Debbie,
Mind if I call you Little Debbie?
Those delicious little snacks bring back fond memories of middle school and my flirtation with childhood obesity. Good times.
LD, you’ve come to the right place! Shortly after “leaving” my position as head anger management counselor due to a “misunderstanding” (how a client can be a no-show 3 times in a row and my boss NOT expect me to throw a chair, is beyond me), I became a life coach. My thoughts were this…I’m living a life and I’m good at telling people what to do, how hard can this be? Turns out, pretty hard LD, pretty hard. Setting up my practice “SUX 2BU” was easy, talking to these people was a nightmare.
I thought it would be as simple as telling someone “Get a new job”, “Move out of your mommy’s house”, or “Stop eating glue” and they would do it…problem solved. But nooooo, these people wanted to “blah blah blah” week after week without making one single change- ain’t nobody got time for that! Well…technically they had an hour.
I found that most of my clients came to me with problems that stemmed from deep rooted issues, issues that could take years or even decades to resolve. As a results oriented person, this was very frustrating. That’s when I developed the DWIT technique. Don’t let the acronym intimidate you, the DWIT (Deal With It Tomorrow) technique is just a fancy term for a common sense approach to most of life’s problems.
As an example of how this works, here’s a transcript from one of my sessions:
Me: So what brings you here today, Bill?
Bill: I’ve put on so much weight. I’m stressed and I find myself overeating all the time. Plus I can’t find time to go to the gym.
Now your average life coach would tell Bill to figure out what’s causing the stress, he’d suggest ways to better manage the stress, and he’d probably give him ideas on how to incorporate exercise into his daily routine. But poor Bill isn’t going to change a damn thing. Instead, he’s going to feel crappier about himself for not making any changes and letting his coach down, this will compound his stress, causing him to eat double time, leading him to gain more weight, thereby raising his blood pressure, which will ignite a heart attack and. He. Will. Die. Good job Mr. Life Coach, you killed Bill.
Now here’s the DWIT approach:
Me: Bill, I understand you’re stressed and out of shape. That really sucks. This is what I want you to do…nothing. That’s right. Make a decision to put it all on the back burner today and deal with it tomorrow (DWIT). And when tomorrow comes, relax and say “I’ll deal with it tomorrow” and so on.
Bill: I feel better already!
You see, there’s always a tomorrow…until there isn’t -and then who cares? That’s some goddamn heavy brilliance right there! (P.S. Don’t tell Bill I shared this with you.)
LD, I recommend applying the DWIT technique to your situation. Need new appliances? You’ll shop for them tomorrow. No nanny? You’ll start interviewing tomorrow. Want a career? You’ll find one tomorrow. Today, put your feet up and watch your DVR’d Dancing With The Stars episodes while eating Kit Kats.
Remember, with a little discipline and the right life coach, you can keep putting off these bad feelings indefinitely!
Good luck tomorrow!
Kim
