So I’m on Facebook, minding my own business by reading other people’s business, and I come across this on my cousin’s feed:

CLEAN YOUR KIDNEYS IN $1.00 OR EVEN LESS

Years pass by and our kidneys are filtering the blood by removing salt, poison and any unwanted entering our body. With time, the salt accumulates and this needs to undergo cleaning treatments and how are we going to overcome this?

It is very easy, first take a bunch of parsley or Cilantro (Coriander Leaves) and wash it clean.

Then cut it in small pieces and put it in a pot and pour clean water and boil it for ten minutes and let it cool down and then filter it and pour in a clean bottle and keep it inside refrigerator to cool.

Drink one glass daily and you will notice all salt and other accumulated poison coming out of your kidney by urination also you will be able to notice the difference which you never felt before.

Parsley (Cilantro) is known as best cleaning treatment for kidneys and it is natural!

I say to myself, “Candy Ass (positive self-talk), with all the poison and salt that you ingest on a daily basis, you could use a kidney cleanse…and it sounds easy enough…and it looks kinda refreshing.”

So I made it.

And the results? Let me ask you this, have you ever seen, smelled, or tasted your own urine after eating copious amounts of asparagus? No? Well, I have and this drink is as close as it gets on all accounts.

Urine for a surprise…this tastes like shit.

I read the directions again & again, double checking that I didn’t leave something out, something like food coloring or an ingredient that didn’t taste like soiled grass.

And how the hell does their drink have a froth? Where the hell was my froth? Come to think of it, wouldn’t that require the use of a blender or ice?

This is the point where I would normally scream “false advertising!” and sue, but since they weren’t selling anything, all I can really do is bitch about it…not as satisfying and won’t pay my counseling bills.

So my tip for today…pat yourself on both sides of the lower back and tell your kidneys to, “keep up the good work ‘cuz mama ain’t drinking nobody’s urine!” (psst…was that a double negative implying that I am?)

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