jerry maguire

It started right after the movie Jerry Maguire came out.

Waitress: “You look like Renee Zellweger.”

Me: “Really? Thanks!”

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Cashier: “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Renee Zellweger?”

Me: “Why yes they have.”

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Parking Attendant: “You know who you look like?”

Me: “Renee Zellweger?”

Parking Attendant: “Yeah!”

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Drive Thru guy ” You look like….”

Me: “I know. You had me at ‘Welcome to McDonalds’. Can I have my fries now?”

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I took this comparison as a compliment, after all, I saw Jerry Maguire and I thought she was adorable in it. But one day, my manager said this:

Manager: My son was so ugly when he was born. His face was all puffy and his eyes were all squinty. Ugh, he looked just like Renee Zellweger! Poor kid.

Me: So you think Renee Zellweger is ugly? Like really ugly?

Manager: God, yes.

I took a longer break than usual that day.

Well, Renee kinda disappeared from the limelight over these past few years and so have the comparisons. But then the Oscars happened.

So yesterday, as I’m paying at Marshalls (I bought these adorable B.O.C. sandals for Ana- only $14.99!)

the dude cashier says, “Has anyone ever told you that you favor Renee Zellweger?” At that moment I felt like grabbing his shirt, sticking my pen under his throat (I was in the middle of signing the Visa receipt), and hissing “Do you think she’s hot or ugly? Huh punk?” but I didn’t think the honesty of his answer could be guaranteed. So instead, I put the pen down gently and quietly said, “All the time…all the time.”

Then I texted Brian…

Me: It’s starting again. The cashier at Marshalls told me I look like Renee Zellweger.

Brian: Get out! I saw her on the Oscars the other day, she was actually looking really good.

Me: So I guess it’s a compliment?

Brian: Now, I would say yes.

Now?

Frankly, Brian and I don’t see the resemblance, but can a gazillion strangers be wrong? Let’s take a look (I’ll let Brian be George Clooney).