Last night, we were in Hurricane Sandy’s direct path yet somehow we were fortunate enough to awake this morning with power and without damage to our home. Notice I said “without damage to our home”, because 36 hours in the basement with my family has damaged my mental state.
I’m going to keep today’s tips short because I’m eager to head into the woods and wander aimlessly for hours.
Today’s tips are quite personal. This is what I recommend if you live in my area:
1. Tell anyone and everyone how thankful you are to have escaped this storm relatively unscathed. Sends kind thoughts, words, and/or prays to those that have been affected by Sandy.
2. Spend about a minute quietly bitching about all the time and preparation that went into getting ready for this storm, only to not need any of it. Then realize you’re going to hell for having such stupid thoughts. Would you rather have had tragedy strike? God, Kim, what the hell is wrong with you?
3. Get on the internet, read about all the destruction in nearby cities, then feel extremely grateful that the worst things you have to clean up are Reese’s wrappers and empty chip bags.
4. Stop eating all the junk food you bought. The storm is over. You can stop eating now.
5. Get away from one another. Divide the house into sections and assign each family member their own area. If you have young children, I find that visual boundaries made from sidewalk chalk, duct tape, or sofa pillows makes it easier for them to define where they can and can’t go. The cat chose to make her perimeter out of vomit.
We gave her the room with the most toys. Tell me I’m not a good mom!
6. Make it clear to all family members that there should be minimal interactions today. All communication should be via text, email, handwritten note, or drawings (for the little ones).
7. Because you ate all of your Halloween candy last night, tomorrow is the perfect opportunity to get rid of all the unused hurricane supplies you stocked up on. A roll of toilet paper will last way longer than that Kit Kat.
Trick or treat, give me something good to wipe my ass with
8. Take a deep breath. I’m happy your day is uneventful enough that you have time to read this silly little blog! And I’m certainly thankful that I can write it!
Off to the woods…
