Happy Holidays!!! We hope you had a terrific 2019! We certainly did.
Determined to start the year off right, we vowed not to repeat last January’s theme of “Gluttony”. And by we, I mean me. I woke up the morning of January 2nd 2019, put down the garlic knots still clutched in my chubby little hands, and headed to the natural food market to pick up riced cauliflower & 99% fat-free turkey
While I was debating over which zucchini noodle might taste less like zucchini, Brian and the kids were hitting up every Acme within a 5-mile radius, in search of the elusive Most Stuf Oreo Cookies rumored to be making a debut. They found them. But in a lame show of dieting solidarity, Brian pledged to twist the top wafer off of every cookie and feed it to the dog instead of himself. I lost 4 pounds that month, Allie Oop gained 3, Brian lost 10.
In February, we bid adieu to all of our snow-loving neighbors and settled in to our yearly “tell me why we live here again” winter hibernation. With high speed internet and a full cord of 4-hr Duraflame Logs to keep us lukewarm, we had little reason to leave the house – except once, when the numbers fell off our mailbox and threatened the promptness of our pizza delivery. Not owning snow gear (completely on principle), I dressed in 10 layers of my heaviest lightweight clothing and went out and fixed it. Upon returning, the family seemed genuinely surprised that I had survived the deadly 30 degree temps, as was I.
My fingers froze and I was forced to abandon the tools. But I retrieved them in the spring.
We reemerged in March. Ana started spring soccer, and Collin made the high school tennis team despite having never played before. Naturally, we assumed the team had fairly low standards, but it turns out he’s a pretty good player. Who knew. Brian was awarded a work incentive trip for two to the super fancy island resort of Kiawah Island, SC. And FYI, it’s pronounced key-a-wah, not kie-a-wah like I called it throughout the entire trip. Not one southerner corrected me. They were probably too perplexed over who let the classless Delaware Valley girl on the island. Ordering all those glasses of “wooder” couldn’t have helped my social standing.
Before flying back to Philadelphia, we spent a night in Charleston. We absolutely loved the town, but the hotel…oh my. Judging by the artwork and décor, I’d say the designer of the Grand Bohemian Hotel in Charleston was on an extended acid bender. When we got to our room, located at the end of a disorienting hallway, I threw open the curtains and gasped. Our window was literally part of an indoor art gallery. Literally. There was no mention of this at check-in. The free continental breakfast, yes, but not this. I just sat on the bed stunned as hotel guests gathered around to watch Brian respond to work emails, no doubt wondering when “living art” became so mundane.
I know you think I’m exaggerating.
I. AM. NOT.
And can we just zoom into the room and acknowledge the evil painting overlooking our bed…
Home Sweet Home
For Spring break, we packed up the car and headed south to catch a Disney Cruise out of Port Canaveral, FL. Between the stops along our route and the cruise ports, it was an eventful trip. We ate in Savannah, shopped in Hilton Head, visited Ron Jon in Cocoa Beach, trampolined in Cozumel, swam with stingrays in the Caymans, zip lined in Jamaica, went to the Disney water park in Orlando, walked the boardwalk in Jacksonville, and had Easter dinner in a Lumberton, North Carolina hotel room, because nothing says “Christ is Risen!” like a McDonalds Happy Meal and gas station wine. Ana turned 10 during that awesome trip, yet somehow felt cheated out of a birthday party.
On Easter, they should call it a Hoppy Meal
When May arrived, we could almost taste the summer. I began working on my 2019 margarita recipe, Brian bought a new copper mug for his Moscow Mules, Collin returned to work at Candy Kitchen, and Ana finally got us to throw her a birthday party at the Delaware Humane Association. I’m proud to say we returned home without adopting an animal. When your dog destroys your lawn and your cat considers her litter box to be more of a suggestion than a requirement, your heart tends to harden.
In June, Collin and I took an 8-hour water safety course at the local Fire Hall and walked out with our Boating Certificate. During those 8 hours, we received exactly zero instruction on how to actually drive a boat, but thanks to a slide show on life preserver buoyancy, we can now walk confidently into any boat rental place and high-speed a 25 footer out of there within minutes. You know what that course really taught me? The ocean is vast, and brimming with clueless boaters like us.
By July, with the kids out of school for the summer, we were living full time at our beach house, The Ship Show. The weather was always warm, the sun was always high, Ana was always bored, Collin was earning coin at Candy Kitchen, and Brian, myself, & the dog enjoyed cocktails every evening on the deck.
Seriously, come 5 o’clock, Allie will spit out any ice cube that wasn’t soaked in premium Grey Goose. It’s the damnest thing.
A Muttgarita
It was more of the same in August, until the last week when it was time to return up north. Booo. We packed up our summer clothes, cleaned out the refrigerator, and put the kayaks away. Collin said goodbye to his Candy Kitchen manager, who then gifted him with the traditional and always appropriate “Thank You for Your Service” 6-inch switchblade. Watching him use the lawnmower makes me nervous, but thanks for the spring-loaded knife, Susan.
In September, Ana entered 5th grade and Collin became a sophomore. Ana started with a new soccer team, where she’s absolutely thriving! Collin joined Varsity Football where he, unfortunately, faced many physical setbacks throughout the season. He sprained his ankle, dislocated his finger, bruised his kidney, and somewhere in one of those waiting rooms, contracted pink eye. But he never gave up. He showed up to practice every day, even the weeks he couldn’t play, doing whatever he could to help his team. As Brian always says, “There’s no ‘I’ in TEAM.” But there is an M & E, so that’s a dumb saying.
Just one of the many medical establishments we frequented this fall.
In October, Collin turned 16 and got his learner’s permit. I was a nervous wreck, still am, but the breakneck speed at which he takes dangerous turns suggests he’s a very confident driver. And when he asks, “Which one is the brake again?” and revs the accelerator to narrow down the choices, I remind myself that our medical deductible has been met, so out-of-pocket expenses won’t be a concern again until January 2020. Also, I started drinking more.
November was a very exciting month for both Ana and Collin’s teams. Ana’s soccer team finished first place in their division, and Collin’s football team made school history! Prior to this season, his football team was one of the lowest ranking schools in the state, but under the leadership of a new and inspirational coach, they ended the season 10-2 and made it all the way to the semi-finals of the state playoffs! *I had to ask Collin these details because I’m not very sportsy, hence the ME in TEAM.
We’ve been very busy this December. Not so much with Christmas (thank you, Amazon Prime), but with squirreling away non-perishables & DVRing episodes of HGTV’s Caribbean Life, preparing for the long winter ahead. If you happen to see us out and about between January and March, odds are we’re either foraging for food or seeking medical treatment. Come say hello, we’d welcome the human interaction.
As this year is coming to a close, we want to say thank you for being a part of our lives. Whether near or far, yesterday or yesteryear, you are always in our hearts. May your 2020 be filled with an abundance of love, laughter, health, and happiness.
Love,
Brian, Kim, Collin, and Ana
