Happy New Year! I hope everyone had a fun and safe New Years Eve! We went to my BFF’s house and had an awesome time! Thanks Joanne & Anthony!
She made it to midnight!
So around 4pm today, after my headache went away, I got down to business…randomly selecting the winner of a personalized Beaver Baby created by yours truly!
She’s ready to push!…I see the head!…Aww, it’s a boy!
Read about the origins of Beaver Baby: A vagucational tool here.
I thought to myself, “Sugar Ass, what’s the best way to select the winner?” (positive self talk is always important). And then it hit me, I’ll do it the same way I make all my life decisions…with Elefun!
If you don’t already own an Elefun, I suggest you rush right out and buy one. No longer waste sleep, time, or money wrestling over decisions like: What kind of car should I buy?, Where should we go for vacation?, Who should be my insurance beneficiary?. Simply let fate and Hasbro make the call.
All you need to do is:
1. Empty all the butterflies out of the elephant’s stomach.
2. Fill him with possible life choices, each one written on a tiny piece of paper. *make sure to use a Sharpie so your tears won’t smudge the writing.
3. Put his head back on and flip on the switch (uses 4 C batteries, not included- bastards).
4. Hold out your net and wait for the answer to just fall from the sky, literally.
5. Cry and cry and cry, because you can’t make decisions without a plastic elephant.
And that is how I selected the 2013 Beaver Baby winner.
Just so you know that this contest was on the up & up and not fixed, I video taped it. (if you’re the conspiracy theory type, you and I both know that I could’ve written the same name on all the papers. I didn’t, so just shut up about it and learn to trust in humanity again.)
Roll the tape!
