Where do you go when you’re feeling blue or blah? From what I hear, most people go shopping, exercise, meditate, see a therapist, etc. Me, I go to Craigslist.org because nothing cheers me up like the ridiculousness of people willing to spread their crazy around the internet like a dog dragging its ass across the carpet.

Let’s start with one of my new favorites:

OMG, I sooo want to paint your body completely white, then cuddle up together on your sofa and watch House of Cards while eating food that your crazy ass prepared! Sadly, I’ve already committed myself to a Latex/Whip Cream gig tonight from 4:30-6ish (not sure how long clean-up will take). But if there’s a little flexibility in your schedule, hit me up.

What have we here…

Aww- this makes me want to hold Old Retired Parent close to my bosom and whisper “Shhh, there, there. Everything’s going to be ok, I’m here now.” Then put a litter box, an insulated pet igloo and some kibble on my porch for his son.

Part of me was tempted to help the poor guy out, but I noticed some red flags:

*This was listed under “education/teaching jobs” which goes to show that not all “crazy” is listed under “Creative Gigs”.

**I wrote Old Retired Parent and suggested he move it under the “Law Enforcement” section, where he might have better luck.

Valentine’s Day is coming up…

Don’t worry ladies, he’s sane – because everyone knows crazy people don’t lie.

FEMALE FOOT Models wanted – Catalog Pics – $200 (San Diego)

I am creating a sexy catalog for my ankle bracelets and toe ring business and need to take pictures of the jewelry on good looking feet and legs. Must wear bikinis of lingerie from your waist down.

Please only respond if you have cute feet without chipped paint and in good shape. Please provide pictures with your respond or you will not be considered

Compensation: $200 per session

• Location: San Diego

 

source: www.omgsoysauce.com

I haven’t heard back…yet. Always the optimist.

*These are NOT my feet. Mine are worse.

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I don’t know about you, but I feel better already!

Have a great day!