پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday!

Ahh, it feels so good to be back on the “Shh, everyone leave momma alone, she’s relaxing in bed with her glass of wine” train.

Today’s wine review is brought to you by the letter “B”. C’mon, you knew it was only a matter of time before I reviewed a wine called Fat Bastard. Honestly, aren’t you surprised it took this long?

Fat bastard Pinot Noir – $11.99

 

Wine Makers’s Tasting Notes: “Lively and elegant with ripe red fruits and a hint of floral notes. Soft, smooth tannins and rich flavors of strawberries and raspberries, finishing with cherry notes.”

 

Kim’s Tasting Notes: “Yooouuuu lying bastards!”

Smooth? This wine was so tangy (is that even a wine term?) that my salivary glands went into overdrive. The back of the bottle said it had a lot of “body”…yeah, because every sip is thickened by your own disgusting spit! So I guess, technically, there’s some truth in their advertising.

But I will say that this wine’s color was absolutely beautiful! It was a deep cherry red, like highest quality blood plasma available on the market today…if there is a market for blood plasma- I’m not sure, I’m not a doctor.

To sum it up, I really didn’t like it. But after repeated attempts and a self-motivational talk, I did manage to finish my glass. Though, I’m not sure how helpful that knowledge is, we both know I’d finish my glass even if it was filtered through my sports bra first…wasting wine is never an option.

So, if you like tangy, drinking your own saliva, and the color of fresh blood, definitely buy Fat Bastard Pinot Noir today! (I’m an awesome spokesperson, and available for your marketing projects)

Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! That’s a grape?

I’m back, baby! Did you miss me? I missed you! (I’m talking to the wine, not you…I see you guys like everyday)

Ok, so on Phase 2 of my body cleanse, I’m not supposed to consume anything with sugar or starch in it, which means I have to drink red wine instead of white. Hey, back off- stick to interpreting your own damn diet.

For this review, I figured that I would change it up and drink something other than cabernet. At first, I considered trying a carmenere (I assume it’s a type of grape?), then I thought about a pinot noir, or maybe a shiraz? I really had no clue what I wanted.

I ended up walking around the liquor store (like every Tuesdays at 10am) with a confused expression on my face, instead of my usual giddiness. Unnerved by the change in my demeanor, the store clerk came rushing over to see if he could help me, his most frequent shopper.

 

Him: What are you looking for?

Me: Well, I write wine reviews online, specifically focusing on affordable wines. (I could tell he was impressed) I was thinking about trying a Camenere.

Him: You mean a Carmenere? (Shit, shit, shit. you look like an asshole now, Kim.)

Me: Ahh, yes. Did I say Camenere? How silly of me. (trying to regain my dignity)

Him: A Carmenere goes perfectly with heavy meals like pasta, cheeses, and meats. Without food, it can be a little pungent.

Me: Hmm, that won’t work for me. I’ll be drinking this wine alone, in bed, and most likely on an empty stomach because I’m in Phase 2 of my body cleanse. Trying to lose the ol’ belly before swimsuit season, know what I mean? (this is where I grab my belly, give it a shake, and officially lose his respect).

 

I went on to describe what I did and didn’t like in a wine, using adjectives like, blanket, new baby doll, diapers, and lickable (not to be confused with likable). I have to give the guy credit, he just nodded like it all made sense to him.

This is what I ended up selecting:

2008 Crios de Susana Balbo Syrah-Bonarda – $14.99

Winemaker’s Notes – Dark reddish/purple color. Intense aroma of black raspberries and a touch of vanilla. Experience a rush of flavors upon first sip of this medium-bodied wine – ripe blackberry and red plum, young forest floor, hints of smoke and spice. This depth of flavor and intensity on the palate is almost unheard of for wines at this price. It’s a winner both before and during a meal. Certainly enjoyable in its youth, but will age beautifully. A fun wine to try with a wide range of red wine-friendly foods and one that will delight even the most pretentious connoisseur.

 

Kim’s Notes – First of all, what’s a Bonardo? I figured it’s a nickname some kid named Bernard uses to make himself sound cooler. Liquor clerk said, “no”. Turns out it’s a grape that squirts out sweet and oaky goodness.

I had my first sips with my healthy bean-free turkey chili. I remember the wine as being smooth, warm, and delightful…much like the footed ducky pajamas I wore on the deck while drinking it.

I feel like a baby, but drink like a big girl!

Honestly, these PJ’s were the best deal ever! $5.99 on clearance at Kmart! Run, don’t walk!

I say “remember” because within a few minutes of consuming my chili, I experienced a familiar sensation…”turkey chili reflux”. Not one to give up, I continued drinking, trying to push the vile reflux back down. I imagine my esophagus looked like tiny salmon trying to swim upstream.

After half a bottle, I threw in the towel because I could no longer taste the subtle notes and flavors through my cumin burps. Are you loving the visuals I’m painting here? What’s important here is that I liked it, I really liked it and I think you will too!

Cheapo Wino Wednesday Review! If it’s a bad chardonnay, would you throw it away?

“I can do this, I can do this, I can do this” has been my mantra for the last 16 days, 8 hours, and 27 minutes. That’s right folks, I’m still cleansing my chemical riddled body and I haven’t had a drop of alcohol since I started…pay up bitches! The key is to have a husband that can’t wait to mock you for cracking- he’s good to me like that.

Anyway, I only have 3 more days to go…on Phase 1. That’s right, I said “Phase 1”. You’re probably all like “WTF?!”. Yup, I have a Phase 2…no sugar or starch for 3 weeks. But let’s cross that bridge when we come to it. *don’t worry, I will be drinking wine.

Anywho, my loss is your gain. Today, I have another awesome guest post, this time by another one of my very favorite bloggy friends, Dani Ryan from Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine ! Dani almost kills me with her posts…really, I sometimes choke on my cleansing lemon water from laughing so hard. It’s just that she has an uncanny ability to see the humor in the everydayness of being a mother, a wife, and a friend and she writes it in such a way that you can’t help but to go “Baahahahah!” Her posts make me happy! If you haven’t been to her site, you need to head over after reading this!

 

 

For those of you who don’t know me, I love few things more than a nice, cold glass of white.

And I should’ve named my blog Cloudy, With a Lot of Wine.

The trouble is, I’m a bit of a wine snob, and prefer vintages in the over $20 range.

But it’s not my fault.

I blame my in-laws.

I was perfectly happy drinking $5 boxed wine before they bought a home in wine country and started free-pouring expensive, oaky chardonnays and full-bodied cabernets down my throat.

OMG, I love those people . . .

So when Kim asked me to help with her Cheapo Wino Wednesday review, I was a little nervous.

Does she know how hard it is for me to handle Dora The Explorer’s voice when I have a wine headache?

But with Kim not drinking, I knew I had to take one for the team, so I threw my 2-year-old into her car seat and headed over to the liquor store.

As I was perusing the aisles for something under $15 that didn’t look like it would burn my esophagus, I noticed a familiar bottle staring at me:

Upon closer inspection, I realized this had been my “go to” wine in my 20s when I wanted to impress someone (new boyfriend, boss, university prof – you get the idea), and since it was within my allotted price range, I knew I had to try it again.

After reading the winemakers notes, I thought I had made a good decision:

–Internationally recognized as one of the best value-for-money wines available throughout the world –Renowned for consistency and quality –Combines easily with food, family, and friends

Of course, this last part is a moot point for me since I don’t like to mix my wine with friends (too chatty) and food (kills my buzz).

But I still had high hopes.

So once The Kid was in bed and The Hubs and I were comfortably sitting on the couch watching Downton Abbey (yes, we finally got sucked in), I started drinking.

Things got off to a good start, and I was beginning to think I would have enough commentary to write The Top 10 Reasons Bin 65 is My New Drug of Choice:

1. It has a screw top, so I didn’t have to waste any of my precious drinking time farting around with a corkscrew.

2. It’s very oaky.

3. It’s not too sweet or fruity, so my taste buds didn’t scream “WINE HANGOVER!” with each sip.

4. After 5 sips, I still didn’t have the overwhelming urge to pop an antacid.

5. At half the price I usually pay for wine, I realized I’d have much more disposable income to spend on important things. Like shoes.

As I was day-dreaming about Jimmy Choo, I poured myself another glass.

And then it happened.

I started feeling that familiar stinging in the back of my throat, my stomach started burning, and I felt myself starting to dehydrate.

So I did what any normal person would do.

I poured that glass down the drain and reached for the good stuff:

Oh well. I never have occasion to wear Jimmy Choo shoes anyway . . .

 

Dani Ryan is the mom of one beautiful girl who has already developed a love for iPhones and Coach purses. About 3 years ago, she traded in her business suits and nylons for yoga pants and stained tee-shirts. She now spends her days reading Sandra Boynton books and wiping food off the kitchen floor, and has a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. In her free time, she writes about parenting and general nothingness on her humor blog, Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine.
She can also be found on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest.

Cheapo Wino Wednesday!

You may or may not be aware that I’m currently on Day 10 of a 3 week detox/cleansing diet.  I don’t know if you’ve done one of these before, but basically it involves eliminating sugar, carbs, alcohol, chemical products, and all happiness from your life until you want to curl up in a ball and die.  But if you’re not dead at the end, you’ll supposedly have a “reset” body that’s poison free and no longer craves crap…until you junk it up all over again.  This is my second cleanse:(

Naturally, my biggest concern was giving up alcohol…you know, on account of Cheapo Wino Wednesday  (I know how you guys depend on me).  I almost cracked a couple of times, in the name of research, but I surprised myself (and Brian) by pouring a cup of tea and crying instead.  I CAN DO THIS!

“But what about the next two Wednesdays?” you ask, looking all sad and depressed.  Well lucky for you guys, I know some awesomely hysterical women that love them some wine, and they were gracious enough to throw back some of the cheap stuff for me.

Today’s wine selector/reviewer is the very funny, very clever Jenn at www.somethingclever2point0.com   She’s a mixture of piss your pants humor and whip your pants bitching (haha, I just made that phrase up.  I like it. I’m using it tomorrow.)  So if you haven’t read her blog yet, you need to head over…after reading this, of course 🙂

Take it away, Jenn….

___________________________________________

 

I don’t go out. Like, ever. But last Tuesday, my friend got a random email inviting her and a guest to a very exclusive wine tasting, and she thought of me! She’s now in my will. The tasting was catered by one of my favorite restaurants, and the reps from the wine distributer were very friendly, and very generous with their samples.

 

We did not spit.

 

As such, I couldn’t be sure that I really liked Rib Shack Red, or if I just thought I liked it because it was free, and it was my ninth sample. But I was fairly certain. We were told that this South African Pinotage-Shiraz blend (60/40, if you’re curious) was specifically designed to be paired with barbecue, but it also went well with pizza and burgers. So, yeah, it was made for me. And maybe I could even get my non-wine-drinking husband on board?

 

It was on special for $8.97, so I bought two bottles. I took one to my friends’ house, and once they were done poking fun at the name and complaining that I failed to bring any barbecue, they drank it and enjoyed it. I saved the second bottle to drink with some barbecue, as opposed to my usual pairing of string cheese and Cadbury Crème Eggs.

 

The next day, Kim asked me to review a cheap wine for her while she tortures herself for the sake of skinny jeans. Nice timing, Kim! So here you go, my Cheapo Wino Review…

 

 

 2011 Rib Shack Red $9.00-12.00 (or $4 if you live in South Africa)

 

Winemaker’s Tasting Notes:

I couldn’t find any. Here’s what they say on the back of the bottle, though:  “Why does Rib Shack Red go so well with meat? A bit like asking why men barbeque and women make salad – it’s just one of those things. Actually, maybe it’s because to barbeque is one thing and salad is a lot of things – guys keep it simple. Wine can also be simple, and should be. Rib Shack Red. Say it and you know what it’s going to taste like. Like a red wine should. Big and… deep and… er… ok, enough words. Just enjoy it and maybe best to keep it to yourself. Imagine telling another guy what you think of the wine… phew…”

 

Okay, so they’re sexist. And I eat like a man. Good to know, Douglas Green Wines.

 

I Googled around and learned that I’m supposed to taste “notes of bing cherry, a hint of coffee, a touch of dark chocolate, with a dollop of tar and tobacco rounded out with black pepper and a spicy, smoky barrel finish.” That sounds like the bottom of a trash can in a racist old man’s house. Why is he racist? I don’t know! He’s old. He grew up in a different time than us.

 

Jenn’s Tasting Notes:

I paired it with a pulled chicken sandwich and cucumber salad. Okay, so I guess I eat like a hermaphrodite. And hell yeah, it paired well! The spiciness of the wine countered the sweetness of the barbecue sauce nicely. I tasted tart apple and black pepper. And, um, let’s go with currants, too. I have no idea what a currant is, but it’s mentioned in every tasting notes for every wine ever, so I’m thinking currants just taste like wine.

 

The Husband’s Tasting Notes:

Again, he is not a wine drinker. I had him eat a bit of chicken first, which he proclaimed “not barbecue” because he’s part hillbilly on his mother’s side, and thinks that barbecue sauce is supposed to be yellow. He smelled the wine and said he already knew he wouldn’t like it. He tasted it, and his only note was “No.” When pressed for more information, he said it made him want to eat more barbecue. But only to get the taste out of his mouth.

 

In summary, Rib Shack Red is rad if you like wine, and radder if you also like (red) barbecue. But sadly, it will not turn a man into a wine drinker.

 

I give Rib Shack Red four pulled chickens (I like to imagine that they’re South African).

 

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