If you read Tuesday’s post then you know that my family and I are currently on stay-cation. And can I just say, we’re a little less than thrilled with our accommodations.
Anyway, today is Free Advice Friday so I thought I’d take a quick break from all the excitement happening in our resort’s lounge area (aka- our family room), and answer a question that I received last week.
Dear Kim,
Other than your blog and being a mother, do you work outside of the home? I’m thinking of getting a part time job but my kids keep me busy, I’m afraid it’ll prove to be too much.
Thanks,
Becky
Dear Becky,
Technically, I do work outside of the house during the school year- I work in my driveway.
You see, last summer my kids decided to operate a stand selling watered-down lemonade and store bought chocolate chip cookies (at a 500% markup, because kids are cute and they can get away with that shit). Inspired by their business model and their overflowing piggy banks, I decided to start my own stand.
Now, when the kids are in school, I take their stand to the bottom of our driveway, replace the “Lemon” in Lemonade with “Mommy”, and sell frozen margaritas and psychological counseling to all of the stay-at-home-moms in my neighborhood.
Based on a recent Mommyade customer survey, my margaritas are a huge hit! The psychological counseling, not so much. But despite feedback like, “I’ve received better advice from mass produced fortune cookies” and “I thought you had a Masters in Psychology?”, business is booming!
*In my defense, I said I considered myself a “master of psychology”…and she had been drinking.
Becky, you’ve come to me at the perfect time! I’m currently looking to expand Mommyade by offering franchise opportunities to the first people 10 million people that contact me, SO ACT FAST!
For only$199 and 30% of your profits, I’ll send you my margarita recipe and a list of my more successful canned counseling responses such as: “How did that make you feel?”, “Really? It looks like you lost weight to me.”, and “No, he’s the asshole.”
Of course, you’ll need to secure your own Mommyade stand, driveway location, lawn chairs, tissues, limes, margarita machine, cups, and tequila. Oh, and I highly recommend increasing your homeowner’s liability insurance. It’s as easy as 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9!
If you’re interested, email me today for an application and you could have your stand up and running by the first day of school- traditionally my biggest sales day of the year!
I’ll keep an eye out for your application request!
Yours truly,
Kim
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If you haven’t checked out her blog yet, you have to go over to my sponsor The Shitastrophy and read some of her shit! It’s hilarious, honest, and full of inappropriate vulgarity (that’s all appropriately used). And if you have an embarrassing story, she wants to hear it and post it in exchange for some Shitastrophy swag! (open to readers & bloggers)
