پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

The Beaver Baby Prize Winner!

Today I announce the winner of the Beaver Baby giveaway!

In order to qualify, all you had to do was take about 12 hours of your day, read all about me, and answer 7 detailed questions (that were put in a crossword format, just to push the pain-in-the-ass-ness over the top). I thank everyone that participated!

 

First, the questions and answers:

 

1. One who studies feces. Why, that’s a poopologist, of course.

2. What did I use to flatten my chicken breasts? My car! I thought, “Surly, the weight of my SUV will flatten them”.  I was very wrong. (Pics included)

3. My favorite variety of wine. Cabernet (nom nom nommy!)

4. Which bank’s talent show did I enter Mr. Bojangles in? WSFS  We worked long & hard on his talent portion, and even had his nails done & anal glands expressed. (spoiler: he didn’t win)

5. Another name for vaginal infants. Beaver Babies – I offer a tutorial for the half-assed do-it-yourselfer

6. What selection method did I use for giveaways? Elefun In fact, Elefun makes all of my important life decisions.

7. Name of the possum I ran over. Poor, poor Pickles.  At first, I thought he was just playing possum.

 

And now for the winner….

Jenn from Something Clever 2.0!

 

Congratulations, Jenn!  Please contact me at kim@oneclassymotha.com  with your gender choice, skin tone, baby hair color, and your pubic hair color!  (I hope you have a Brazilian because I’m getting tired of running around town with faux pubes glued to my hands.)

Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday!

Ahh, it feels so good to be back on the “Shh, everyone leave momma alone, she’s relaxing in bed with her glass of wine” train.

Today’s wine review is brought to you by the letter “B”. C’mon, you knew it was only a matter of time before I reviewed a wine called Fat Bastard. Honestly, aren’t you surprised it took this long?

Fat bastard Pinot Noir – $11.99

 

Wine Makers’s Tasting Notes: “Lively and elegant with ripe red fruits and a hint of floral notes. Soft, smooth tannins and rich flavors of strawberries and raspberries, finishing with cherry notes.”

 

Kim’s Tasting Notes: “Yooouuuu lying bastards!”

Smooth? This wine was so tangy (is that even a wine term?) that my salivary glands went into overdrive. The back of the bottle said it had a lot of “body”…yeah, because every sip is thickened by your own disgusting spit! So I guess, technically, there’s some truth in their advertising.

But I will say that this wine’s color was absolutely beautiful! It was a deep cherry red, like highest quality blood plasma available on the market today…if there is a market for blood plasma- I’m not sure, I’m not a doctor.

To sum it up, I really didn’t like it. But after repeated attempts and a self-motivational talk, I did manage to finish my glass. Though, I’m not sure how helpful that knowledge is, we both know I’d finish my glass even if it was filtered through my sports bra first…wasting wine is never an option.

So, if you like tangy, drinking your own saliva, and the color of fresh blood, definitely buy Fat Bastard Pinot Noir today! (I’m an awesome spokesperson, and available for your marketing projects)

Tips for Tuesday! Save money with tampons!

Today’s tip is simple, straightforward, and will save you a ton of money.

 

You know how you have to either wrap a gift or spend a mint on those stupid gift bags? Well, here’s a cheap and clever alternative to packaging anything in the 6 inch x 8 inch or less range..tampon boxes!

Really, think about all those empty tampon boxes you have just laying around, practically littering your floor.They’re perfect for gift giving!

Not only are they colorful, but they tell the recipient “Hey, I think you’re Super!” or even “Super Plus” (for us heavy flow gals). What an absolutely thoughtful message!

 

 

Want to make someone feel even more special? Let ’em know that they’re a true gem!

 

Sending someone a “Congratulations” gift, knowing that they’re positively beaming with good news?

 

You might think I’m joking, but honestly, I always recycle my Tampax Tampon boxes! When they’re not being used to deliver cherished gifts, I’m putting old shoe laces through the sides and transforming them into disposable lunch boxes for the kids.

Mmm, lunch!

*I don’t recommend sushi

If you can think of any other uses for my pile of tampon boxes, please let me know…or even empty wine bottles (Lord knows I have a ton of those.).

 

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Dirty Martinis, Puzzles, and a Giveaway!

As you may know, I’m on the low sugar/ no starch phase of my body cleanse, so I’m trying to get creative with my food and drink choices. This weekend, as an alternative to red wine, I tried a Dirty Martini…

and…

I didn’t like it.

 

Man, I was totally bummed out! I’d been planning for months, the number of provocative ways I could possibly order dirty martinis. So far I had, “I’ve been a bad bad girl”, “Give it to me dirty”, “Spank me, cause I’m about to ask for it dirty”, etc. But noooo, I order my first dirty martini and follow it with “Yuk, can I have a club soda to clean out my mouth?”

Ok, so that made me sad, but you know what makes me happy? Puzzles & Giveaways!!!!

What am I giving away? Oh no, it’s not that easy beotches! You’ll have to solve the puzzle to find out…(or for lazy asses, just read below)

[embedit snippet=”sliding-puzzle-beaver-baby”]

For a chance to win, all you have to do is complete the One Classy Motha crossword puzzle below! I figured, if I’m giving you my “baby”, you should at least know some shit about me.

If you don’t know an answer, just fill in the little search box, on my left sidebar, with some keywords and voila! Once you’ve solved it, the puzzle will give you an option to share your completion via email (sharelink) or just shoot me the 8 answers at kim@oneclassymotha.com and you’ll be entered for the drawing! Winners will be announced on Thursday!

*And I’m guessing your chances are good because some peeps will be like “WTF, Kim? I don’t have time for puzzles.” Your welcome.

[embedit snippet=”crossword4″]

Good Luck, you kooky kids!

P.S. – The winner will receive a customized Beaver Baby (so be prepared to share your baby gender, hair color, and va-jay-jay pubic hair choice).

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