پاکستان میں Mostbet com ویب سائٹ ملاحظہ کریں، اور آپ یقینی طور پر کھیلوں پر شرط لگانے یا آن لائن کیسینو میں کھیلنے کے لیے یہاں واپس آنا چاہیں گے۔ کھیلوں کے شائقین کو ایونٹس کے ایک بڑے انتخاب، مختلف پروموشنز اور بونسز، مفت بیٹس، مفت گھماؤ اور زیادہ مشکلات تک رسائی حاصل ہے۔ اور کھیل کو مزید آسان بنانے کے لیے، ہم نے ایک موبائل ایپلیکیشن تیار کی ہے جسے آپ آسانی سے اپنے فون پر انسٹال کر سکتے ہیں۔

Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! A Cabernet (yes, again) from Argentina.

 

Cruz Alta Mendoza Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon 2012 – $11.99

 

Winemaker’s Notes: “Deep ruby red color. Complex aromas with cassias, mature red fruit and coffee from the oak. Rich and long lasting on the palate, its tannin texture provides a smooth and pleasant finish.”

 

Kim’s Notes: “I think I might maybe like it?”

I have to admit, I originally gave Brian shit for picking this up as I really don’t care for French wines. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s from Argentina- but notice that the label says it was aged in French Oak. And to me, French Oak tastes like my Baby Hathaway doll smelled on Christmas morning 1976. THAT, my friends, is a problem.

As usual (and as recommended), I had my first glass on an empty stomach. I found it to be well balanced, with a nice texture and pleasantly plump body – not unlike myself. And surprisingly, I didn’t detect the plastic diaper smell I was dreading. No Baby Hathaway here. But I was a little disappointed that I didn’t taste any oak – momma loves her oak (just not French). I think this wine is a lot like a Pinot Noir…maybe…who knows.

Brian tried it and said, “I think it’s a little winey”. Whatever that means.

Then I said, “You’re a little winey…a little whiney bitch!”

Then he took my slice of pizza and licked it. Then I threw up in my mouth.

Surprisingly, I still found the Cruz Alta pretty good. It wasn’t heavy, but it had some character and weight. Not unlike my throw up.

However, after eating some Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream, things went south. The wine started to taste tangy and a little sour. Strange.

Now here I am, all confused and with mixed feelings. But for $11.99, I think I’ll give it another shot and report back.

 

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The Weekend in Crappy Pics

Remember my Tip for Tuesday?

Show your dog who’s Alpha by making him carry his own poop bag on your next walk!

Well, let’s just say that Mr. Bojangles is having some adjustment issues. Friday, after I took “The Shit Bag” (trademark pending) off of his collar, he walked into the middle of the street and plopped down.

I’m thinking this is the human equivalent of laying your body across some train tracks. Don’t worry, I crinkled a wrapper and he came running- though he was not amused to find out it was a tampon wrapper.

 

Friday evening, I used child labor to juice my limes. Shut up…maybe these were used for refreshing & organic ice pops and NOT margaritas. You don’t know.

 

As a thank you for all of her hard work, I bought her one of those “As Seen on TV” ice cream makers.

This is how that went:

 

 

No! Don’t give up now!

 

 

An “As Seen on TV” sucker enjoying her milkshake.

 

And look what arrived for me on Saturday! I guess my Cheapo Wino Reviews found their way to the PR department for Billy the Artist, so they sent me this free wine bottle holder for review! LOVE IT!

And it was just in time for the Saturday night event held at my local wine vineyard! And by “event” I mean me sitting on my ass, drinking wine, and listening to music- the opposite of eventful.

All of my friends ooh-ed and ahh-ed over it, plus it stood out so no one could “accidentally” wander off with my wine, thinking it was theirs. Vineyard people are sneaky bastards.

Want one? Check out the wine bags, plus all of his other gorgeous accessories here.

Oh, and this couple annoyed me just for trying too hard…

I bet they had real silverware, a candelabra, and a cheese wheel in that basket. Golly, I sound bitchy…

 

On Sunday, I gave our 3-legged dog a haircut. Afterwards, knowing my qualifications as a dog groomer (none) and my knack for humiliating my pets (PhD level, my friends. “P” to the “h” to the “D”), he quickly ran under the kitchen table and refused to come out.

Family comments like “What have you done?!” and “Wow, now his missing leg won’t be the first thing people talk about.” didn’t help.

As you can see here, he insisted on having his dinner delivered.

And after enough procrastination, I got down to making my Beaver Baby orders (my parents are so proud).

Then on Sunday night…get this…Mr. Bojangles stole 5 (Five, 1-2-3-4-5, cinco, 5.0) hot dogs from the counter! I heard Brian scream and saw Bo run out onto the deck with a hot dog hanging out of his mouth. Sadly, I missed the photo opp because I was enjoying a margarita w/ freshly squeezed lime juice. Shut up…I might have juiced them myself. You don’t know.

When Brian left this morning, he made me promise I’d follow Bo around, waiting for the inevitable diarrhea. And he was no joke, I had to swear with one hand on my heart and the other on my favorite bottle of wine. So I have my day planned. How was your weekend?

 

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Free Advice Friday! Are your kids spoiled?

Dear Kim,

I feel like I spoil my kids (ages 14 & 16) too much, they’re always “What about me, me, me?!” They think everything we do should contribute to their happiness, and if it doesn’t then it’s not worth doing. How can I turn this boat around and get them thinking about other people’s needs?

Thank you!

Selfless Sally

 

 

Dear Sally,

That sucks.

Sally, what you need to do is to get your family into some type of community volunteer activity. Oh sure, they’ll kick and scream at first but the trick is to keep trying different programs until they find the volunteer position that really speaks to them.

Having tried several hundred organizations myself, here’s a heads up on a few: the SPCA will want you to change litter boxes and clean up hairballs, Hospice meetings are usually held on Friday afternoons putting a damper on Happy Hour, and the Big Sister/Big Brother program will most likely involve Saturday mornings and not being hung over. Oh, and none of them pay, so going in with a well rehearsed salary negotiation speech isn’t necessary. That was embarrassing.

After spending months looking for something that was rewarding, yet requiring little effort on my part, I decided to create my own volunteer organization, NewsPooper Tails. I reunite lost pets with their owners merely by reading the lost & found section of various local newspapers. For example, if I see person A lost a yellow lab in the Blake Park area, and person B found a yellow lab in the Blake Park area, BINGO! I make the call to both! I’m like a match maker for the common-sense challenged.

Of course, this type of work does have its risks. I remember this one time, I saw an ad for a missing black dachshund and another for a found black dachshund. I thought to myself, “Candy Ass (positive self-talk), how many black weiner dogs are actually roaming the streets? This must be a match!”

So I called the owner and she was so estatic! She said that the dachshund had been sitting in front of her house when her neighbors saw her ex-boyfriend come by and take it. “Why would he do that?” I asked. “Who knows. But I’m just so worried. The last time this happened, he banged it in the rear.”

“What? That’s horrible!” I screamed “I’ll be right over!”

So I picked up the dog from the lady who found it and headed over to the owner’s home. The moment she opened the door, the dog jumped out of my arms, ran over to an ugly ass recliner, lifted his leg and peed. She glared at me, “What’s up with your dog peeing on my chair?” MY DOG?

Turns out her ex-boyfriend banged the rear of her 1982 black Datsun…not Dachshund. I guess mistakes like that are one reason not to place your ads over the phone.

Sally, rest assure, this good deed has a somewhat happy ending.

Her neighbor’s ended up keeping the dachshund and naming him Rusty (after the condition of the car). They loved him dearly. And would you believe that a year later, Rusty saved their lives by barking when their dried out Christmas tree caught on fire! Granted, it only caught on fire because his doggie diabetes caused him to drink the tree stand water every night. However, the newspapers were kind enough to leave that part out, believing that every dog should have his day.

Sally, I hope I was able to inspire you and your children to seek out altruistic endeavors by giving back to your community. I must go now, it’s cocktail hour and I’m “donating” margaritas to myself and my husband. After all, charity starts at home!

Voluntarily yours,

Kim

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Cheapo Wino Review Wednesday! Sweet and Creamy. No, not me.

Creme De Lys Chardonnay 2011 – $11.99

Winemaker’s Notes: The winemaker chose California vineyards that yield incredibly lush flavors of tropical fruit, baked apple and citrus.  Sur lie aging gives this wine it’s soft, creamy style.  Use of primarily French oak adds hints of vanilla and creme brulee on the finish, making this wine the perfect reward at the end of your day.

Kim’s Notes: Damn it, I wanted so badly to say, “Creme De Lys? More like Creme De Lie! Hahahaha”

But noooo, it actually was creamy and sweet, and “Creme De Truth” doesn’t have the same ring. Blah.

I drank my first glass on an empty stomach (as you should to make dinner preparations more pleasant), and I was a little surprised by just how sweet it was.  I decided to pair it with various food items to see if they changed the taste:

Potato chips = a little better

Cheese = still too sweet

Chocolate chip = Oh god, no!

More potato chips = not bad

Still more potato chips = getting better

Potato chips…

Needless to say, I was no longer hungry for dinner.

By the time I got to my third glass, I felt like it really mellowed out on the sweetness.  In fact, it started to taste almost full…complex…oaky…and that’s when I realized that I had subconsciously switched to Cabernet.  Hey, it happens. I’m like a homing pigeon, but with red wine.

I would recommend Creme De Lys only if you like sweet, sweet, creamy wines.  I know first hand that it pairs well with copious amounts of Sour Cream & Onion potato chips.  I can only assume that it does not pair well with diabetes.

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