I don’t think anyone could have prepared me for becoming a parent. Sure, I read all the books, took child psych courses, and listened to a whole lot of Dr. Sears while on bed rest waiting for my little cherub to pop out. But until you’re in the trenches, you have no idea of all the difficulties and all of the beauties you’ll encounter as a parent.

Before I Became A Parent I Wish I Knew…

that my sex life would be dictated by how often Nick Jr. shows a new episode of Dora the Explorer or Max and Ruby (A re-run only buys us 10 minutes).

that my stomach would never look the same. Holy hell, I never knew a belly button could pucker. In hindsight, I should have scheduled a stomach photo shoot on the day I conceived.

that the underside of my boobs would, one day, be capable of securing lipstick, I.D., and enough change for a 2 hour parking meter. It makes me cry. Bright side, I never need a purse when going out with friends.

that I would rarely go out with friends.

that our dog would just become our dog. He’d no longer have a doggie car seat and a “diaper bag” containing his favorite toys and treats. These days he’s lucky we remember to feed him.

that the chant “mom mom mom mom ” repeated on a loop would be the equivalent of nails down a chalkboard while hearing teeth grind.

that you can have two children who are opposites in so many ways…nature does sometimes trump nurture.

that I would become a “Poopologist”, collecting, analyzing, and tracking the poop schedule of my children.  Honestly, I think I’ve earned an Honorary Degree.

that it is possible to get ready in 30 minutes! I probably would have graduated college on time if I learned this sooner!

that I would question every decision I make and, even in the end, never be certain if I made the right one.

that I would have trouble watching movies or reading stories that depict the suffering of children. Since becoming a mother, my sensitivity to their pain is crippling, like a raw nerve.

that I would struggle with allowing my son the independence of using the men’s restroom on his own. And that I would have no shame in standing outside the bathroom door, constantly calling his name just to make sure all the potential pedophiles and child abductors in there knew I was watching and waiting.

that I could protect my children with a fierceness that would scare even me. And that I would do it without regret or apology.

that I could be in the middle of watching my children play and have a sudden urge to cry, not out of sadness but because I was suddenly overwhelmed by their beauty and kindness.

that having a child would make me feel both intensely strong and immensely vulnerable.

that I could love someone this much.

* This post is part of Theme Thursday. You can join in or read what other bloggers wish they knew before becoming a parent by clicking this link http://cloudywithachanceofwine.com/1397-2/

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