Guess where we are? On an airplane headed to Mexico…con no niños !!! Woohoo!
Dear Burglars,
Our house is not empty, and our dog, Mr. Bojangles, bites first and asks questions later. Just ask Girl Scout Troop #379 (lawsuit pending).
Brian won an incentive trip through work and I’m so proud of him that I could go on and…hang on…
had to order my vodka & OJ.
The hotel we’re staying at is one of those fancy smancy places, the kind we could never afford unless I started stripping at a place whose clientele had a major stretch mark fetish.
In fact, the resort is so exclusive that yesterday we were given a heads up by his company that a “dignitary” would be staying there with us- in his own room, of course.
Brian forwarded his company email to me along with this statement:
One Classy Motha and a dignitary. Well this ought to be interesting.
After I looked up the term Dignitary (dig-ni-tery) in the Webster’s Dictionary, I replied with:
Tell Dottie I’ll need to know who it is so I can brush up on some appropriate topics, otherwise I will most likely offend. For example, if it’s the Dalai Lama, I’ll need to ponder my stance on reincarnation before introducing myself to him in the steam room, but if it’s a Columbian drug lord I’ll want to focus my energy on mastering the Spanish phrase “No cavity searcho, por favor.” These are the kind of preparations that can make or break a vacation.
Brian said not to worry about it because they were only notifying us in order to explain the reason for the extra security at both the airport & resort. However, I’m pretty sure it was their way of saying “Keep your shit together.” and “Don’t lose your dignity in front of the dignitary.”
I’m rolling in in yoga pants and an ill-fitting bra so I’d say I already left my dignity at home…with my toothbrush.
Wish me luck.
While I’m sipping waaay too many margaritas, you have to check out my girl Freckles and Curse Words! She uses the “F” word a lot, and I love it!
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