The Weekend in Crappy Pics.

As you may have read last week, my backyard Camp Cheapo was cut short by an illness that raged within my body for several days, thanks to a certain little Camper (or Influenza Trojan Horse, as I like to call her). At one point, my body temperature soared to 99.9, and I was completely delirious! I could barely finish painting my nails. But thanks to Tylenol and a kick ass martini recipe, I pulled through.

Anyway, before getting sick, one of my readers gave me a great project idea for my campers, and I was dying to try it (illness/death pun not intended). So on Friday, I decided to try it with my own kids. Now brace yourself…ready?…it had educational value. Gasp! I know, right? Normally I would shy away from that type of summer activity, but it required a pizza box and I’m always looking for ways to deplete my supply. We order a lot of pizza.

I called Collin downstairs (Ana was already up my ass) and said,”Guess what? We’re going to make a Pizza Box Solar Oven and bake cookies in it!” And he said, “That sounds like fun! Call me when they’re ready.” and tried to run back upstairs.

Oh, hell nooo!

Here she is! Isn’t she a beaut!

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find the Solar Oven baking time on the back of the cookie mix. But knowing it was high noon, the humidity level was at 50%, and the wind blew at 1mph, I solidly declared that they’d be ready in 23-25 minutes.

At that moment, I honestly believed I could survive in the wilderness with nothing but a pizza box and a can of deet bug spray.

Twenty-five minutes later *ding*, I wasn’t so sure. They were still raw. Forty minutes later, still not done. An hour later, nope not yet.

At sunset, we were forced to bring it in and eat the dough with a fork. We later switched to spoons.

You know what my kids learned? They learned to hate solar energy, one disgusting cookie at a time.

On Saturday, we decided to round up all of our old DVD’s and take them to 2nd & Charles to sell back for cash or store credit. If you’ve never done this before, basically you take your used books, video games, DVD’s, etc., give them to the cashier for evaluation, and shop for an hour while you wait for them to call your number.

Ok, it wasn’t an actual hour, just a perceived one…

While we were waiting, the big question was “How much do you think we’ll get for everything?”

Collin: “$80”

Brian: “$150”

Ana: too busy climbing a bookshelf

Me: “$90”

Brian:”If we’re only buying about $24 in new books, what happens to the left over credit?”

Kim: “We should ask for the cash, and use it to pay for dinner!”

Collin: “Or to buy a guitar?”

Brian: “Or as a down payment on a new car!”

Kim: “I’ve always wanted diamond earrings!”

They called our number…

Cashier lady:” Would you like $4.50 in cash or $9.00 in store credit?”

You see, we left the house with this many DVDs:

and we were sent back with this many:

WTF? They only took 3 DVDs. Three. Three. (Obviously, this is not a sponsored post.)

See any titles you’d like to purchase from us?

When we returned home and checked the mail, we were reminded that Mr. Bojangles has a birthday coming up:

What kind of doggie birthday gift is that? I’m pretty sure he’d rather receive a coupon to have his anal glands expressed.

Even the dog on the card looks sad and stricken with separation anxiety.

On Sunday, Brian wanted all of us to go bowling together. Quite frankly, I just wanted some time alone. He tried the “You have to come, it’s quality family time.” guilt, and it might of worked if this hadn’t happened earlier…

What’s this? THIS is a reminder that I haven’t been alone since school ended. THIS is Ana busting into the bathroom with her flashlight, turning off the lights, and asking me to make shadow puppets with her…nevermind what I’m doing.