Are we still here?

Shit.

If you’re reading this then that means the world didn’t end. Which is a good thing unless you came here looking for Free Advice Friday. I didn’t want to spend my last night on earth telling you how to live your life. So, instead I drank wine in bed while watching DVR’d episodes of How I Met Your Mother (don’t you dare judge me).

My “because the world didn’t end” to-do list:

Write “Free Advice Friday” and post it

Go shopping for Christmas gifts

Lose the 10 pounds I put on

Buy more wine

Clean the house

Go to the grocery store

Shave my legs

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with some random advice based on my own personal experience (throwing you a bone here):

Never Ever throw runny dog shit into a nearby bush.

The laws of physics dictate that the branches will bow, allowing some of the dog shit to slide to the ground, whereby the shift in weight will cause the branches to rapidly return with such velocity that it’ll fling the remaining shit back at you.

Shit will rain down on you. It just will. – I cried.

Now go out into the world wiser, showered, and grateful for another day!

UPDATE

P.S. Guess what happened at 6:11am? Turns out the Mayans weren’t predicting the apocalypse at all, they were predicting the start of my god awful menstrual cycle. So you see, this was all about me. Sorry for the scare:(