We went to the Mushroom festival yesterday because…well, because that’s just what you do in these parts. Why couldn’t I live in wine or cocoa bean country? This is what I ask myself every time I stand in line buying a 5 lb box of portobellos for a nickel.
Anyway, it was a beautiful day to walk around and appreciate the under appreciated and often misunderstood mushroom. Though I have to admit, I spent most of my time walking around and wondering why alcoholic beverages weren’t being served. What I would have given for a Crimini Martini or a Button mushroom soaked in vodka. I’m sure my grandmother has a recipe for that last one.
While there wasn’t much to do, I had a lot of fun saying cheesy things like “Hey Collin, you’re a fungi!”, “Ana’s as cute as a button!”, “Scoot over, I don’t have mushroom” and my personal fave “Where’s the bathroom? I need to take a shiitake!” God, I crack me up! I was high fiving myself left and right. I’m sure I embarrassed everyone else.
I saw the food truck for The Creamery (a local ice cream farm) and thought about getting some ice cream but I didn’t because I need to work off some of this summer poundage. In hindsight though, I probably should have- we haven’t had their ice cream since “the incident” and I’m not sure if I’ll ever return to the farm. Brian thinks I’m overreacting. Maybe I’ll fill you in on “the incident” tomorrow, it’s much too layered to go into right now.
Of course it wouldn’t have been a festival without a giant mushroom walking around but Ana could give a rat’s ass. She was, however, very excited when she saw Google’s Android mascot.
She’s a marketer’s dream. There was a person inside the inflated costume and he stood there waving at everyone passing by. She was fascinated by his inflatedness and pulled me in his direction so she could say hi. He was a chipper little fella. Unfortunately, the next time we saw him he was being repeatedly punched by a gang of 5 year olds who were also fascinated with his inflated costume. Parents were nearby laughing and placing bets on which kid would deflate him first. I have to say, that Android was no wuss, he was swinging back. Wisely, he tried to make his retaliation look playful by dancing while he swung, but he made pretty good contact with a couple of heads. I took the opportunity to explain “mob mentality” to my kids. This made Ana very sad and slightly frightened, but Collin was too busy cheering to hear a word I said.
Overall, we didn’t stay long, maybe a couple of hours. But really, how much mushroom stuff does any one person need to see? It’s not like it was the Oatmeal Festival or anything- I hear that’s 3 days long, and rightfully so. The Bloggess tweeted about its heartiness here.
On the way out I snagged a free bag of Smartfood’s newest chip flavor, Fetal.
Mmm, placenta never tasted so good!
But when I tasted one I nearly spit it out. It didn’t taste anything like fetal! Let me ask you this – have you ever gulped your beer, then realized you just drank from the cup your friends have been using as an ashtray? You won’t die but it definitely wasn’t what you were expecting, right? Well that’s what happened. I was expecting Fetal and instead I got Feta Herb.
Yuk! Not even a hint of uterus:(
Apparently I misread the wrinkled bag. Feta herb? What kind of chip flavor is that? Dreadful.
When we got home Brian said, “Those chips smell like feet!” and with some kind of twisted hopefulness I said, “Baby feet?”
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