Woohoo! Today is the big day! The STFU, Parents book is officially released and we find out who won a free copy (and BookSperm: You love to read, he loves to breed.)!
Happy Birthday!!!
But before I announce the winner, I’m going to do one of those annoying stall tactic things where I just bullshit for a while. This is meant to create an “edge of your seat” experience.
To begin with, I was thrilled to see so many wonderful comments! Some of you have been reading my blog for months, while others are new (and I hope you stay) but you all have one thing in common…you’re funny as shit! Really, your comments had me laughing and smiling, thank you!
And a big shout out to those of you that told me you love me! Just so you know, I think of you every night as I drift off to sleep…your comments printed out and clutched in my pudgy fluid retaining hands.
Also, I’m am both grateful and overwhelmed by your willingness to share your leg shaving schedule with me! I’m still double checking my figures, so I’ll have to get back to you later this week with the FOS (Frequency Of Shaving) breakdown.
Moving on to the selection process…Elefun.
If you’re new to my blog, let me explain. You see, awhile back I realized that I was creating a lot of stress for myself by making informed decisions based on a combination of extensive research, intuition, and common sense…and my decisions were still wrong. Who needs that? So instead, I decided to start writing all my options on tiny pieces of paper and to just randomly pick one. That technique got the job done, but to be honest it lacked the festivity that all half-assed decisions deserve.
Then one Christmas, Elefun appeared under our tree like an angel sent from Toys R Us. Ana saw him as just a toy, but I knew he was meant for greater things! …like telling me which shoes go best with my cream skirt.
Now Elefun makes most of my life decisions
What should I cook for dinner, Elefun?
Lasagna it is!
What color should I paint the foyer, Elefun?
Good choice! I bet that’ll look great!
What form of birth control should Brian & I use, Elefun?
I totally agree! (psst…all the papers said vasectomy)
Now on to the drawing….
(click this link) And the winner is….
Congratulations to the winner!!! You’ll be contacted shortly for your mailing address. Sorry to the losers (the PC term is “second place winners”), you get squat…except for my undying love and gratitude. Isn’t that enough, dammit?!
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